#define: game theory, dude

Welcome to #define, our 100% original and in no way copied from Balderdash game show, where you’re rewarded for lying, like a skilled politician. Let’s introduce our players, in the order they will be playing. First up - yes, it’s Amal Hussein. She’s back.

Again? I’m first against again?

That’s right… [laughs]

This is like the worst way to tell someone that they’re going first. We have a whole pre-gaming for a reason.

This is how I assert my dominance early in the day, as I just put you first…

I can see that.

…and now we know the order of operations. Playing second - it’s the winner of our inaugural game, it’s Lars Wikman. Hey, Lars.

Hello, hello. Pleasure to be back. I have no expectation to win this time…

Did you sense the spite in my voice when I had to announce you? Because I was so close… I was so close to winning the previous round.

You were also close to scheduling me out… But Emma fixed it for us.

True. Unfortunately, you showed up anyways. Okay, so next up –

Do we have two Swedes on the show right now? Is that what’s going on here?

Hold on, we haven’t introduced Emma yet. You can’t just start talking her.

Okay. Sorry. You’re right, you’re right. She doesn’t exist yet.

Hasn’t been defined yet.

Yes, exactly.

It’s Taylor Troesh, livestreaming from his friend’s bedroom… What’s up, Taylor?

Yo, how’s it going? Here in the friend’s bedroom once again… [laughter]

He’s back in his friend’s bedroom… Always happy to have you on the show. Playing fourth - there she is; now you can talk to her. It’s our new contestant and our old friend, Emma Bostian. Hey, Emma.

Hey… Or hej, I guess they’d say Swedish, which sounds exactly the same. I’m not Swedish, but I’d like to be someday if they’ll keep me.

When you get older, yeah…

Good goals.

Yeah, you’re a Swede in transition, I would say…

Yeah…

Well, how’s your lying?

I mean, I’ve made it this far in life…

Okay, so you’re doing alright.

There’s a reason I’m on this show…

We invited Emma for a few reasons. First of all, excellent BS-er. Secondly, the creator of our game show genre when she introduced JavaScript Jeopardy years ago on JS Party… Which I then took and ran with, and we have a bevy of game shows now… So happy to have you, Emma. You’re welcome back anytime. Finally, playing last, because I’m enforcing his chivalrous ways… It’s my partner in crime, it’s Adams Stacoviak. What’s up, dude?

What’s up?! Glad to be back, glad to lie to you all, all day long.

Especially Amal. You’re very good at trickin’ Amal.

She’s gonna get all my definitions, just love them and gobble them up.

Pretty much, yeah. But you know what? I would say the same for Lars. We didn’t talk about that enough, but Lars definitely fell for me quite a bit, so… You know?

Who could avoid it…?

Ah… This is not good. This is a tactic; suck up to your opponents, get them comfortable…

Well, I need to build a good chemistry here, because we need to make sure that Jerod does not win. That’s very critical to me winning.

Allyship is part of the game.

I am here to be the antagonist, so that all of you can be friends, even though if you think critically, you’re also playing against yourselves… But whatever, whatever. This is a game of fake definitions. Here’s how it works. Each round has a word; I will present said word. It also has a definition. You all will create fake definitions that represent that word. All words in the category of STEM. If you actually know what the word means, you can submit that to me, and you’ll get three points for being correct. If you don’t know what it means, then you’ll make up a definition and try to trick the opponents into guessing yours. Three points for the correct definition to start, two points if you guessed the right one at the end, one point for each person who chooses your definition. If none of you - there are five this time, but if none of you select the correct definition, then three points to me as your host and moderator. The first player to reach 12 points wins. Any questions before we kick into round one?

If I did the math right, this means that you could, if you craft really believable ones, actually beat someone who is consistently correct. Or you could draw with someone who’s consistently correct, which I like as an idea.

This is true.

You say the first person who wins 12 rounds, or 12 points?

12 points.

Oh, wow. Okay, so I guess that’s how difficult it was for us to get there… I thought we got really close last time.

So last game we played 10 rounds, and Lars made it to 17 points… So we’re thinking that it might be seven to eight rounds, maybe… But we’ll see. We’ll see how the game plays out. It just depends. So we hop right into round one. Your first word is syzygy.

And these are still STEM?

Correct. All in the world of STEM. Please submit to me your fake definitions privately now. Or whenever you’re ready.

Can you spell the word for us, or put it in chat?

[00:05:56.29] Yes, it’s syzygy. I will put it in the chat here. I am resolved this time not to fall prey to the humble megaflask. Please don’t use megaflask in any of your definitions.

If you can hear some kind of farm animal noise coming out of my microphones…

[laughs] Is that your daughter?

…it’s my crotch goblin, who does not enjoy putting her pajamas on.

Well, it sounds like she’s having fun.

That’s why you need to go to a friend’s house.

Crotch goblin… [laughs]

[laughs] No, I love her. I’m just facetious.

Most kids around that age are some kind of goblins, but different times.

Mm-hm… Indeed.

Yeah, but two to four is the perfect age for children. They’re the cutest, they’re the weirdest… They say the darndest things.

Do you still have any in that range, Jerod?

No, my youngest is five now… Unfortunately. I mean it’s not unfortunate that she’s five, but… I’m happy that she continues to get older, I guess. Although my first daughter, I made her promise that she’d stay three forever, and she actually fell for it, and now I just punish her constantly for lying to me. [laughter] “You said you’re gonna be three, and now look at you! You’re 15!” I mean, that’s such a terrible lie. Such a disappointment. Alright, I have Amal’s…

You have a wide range of children, Jerod… Dealing with emotionally demanding and physically demanding - like, that’s a wide spread. That’s impressive. And then you have to deal with us, adult children on the show…

Right, yes. My other –

Your other bambinos.

My other crotch goblins… [laughter] I have Emma’s… So far the ladies whoopin’ up on the guys in time to definition…

I mean, you don’t have to state the obvious, Jerod…

TTD… These girls know how to TTD, time to definition. Okay, I’ve got Lars, and Taylor… And Adam is now going up the rear.

Greatness takes time.

[laughs] Greatness takes time.

Something-something blockchain…?

Yeah, exactly. Something-something NFT.

No. I wish, though…

Okay, Jerod, hold it together… You have to read these…

Something-something please click this link…

Okay, we have all six definitions. I can’t look at you guys, I’ll have to… I had to go fullscreen on my spreadsheet, because if I look at your faces, there’s just no way I can read these out loud without cracking. Syzygy - a phenomenon that occurs when a proton and an electron collide; named after scientists Thomas Syzygy. A phenomenon in literary psychology where the fiction lies to the reader as part of characters in the story not knowing the truth. Syzygy - maximum axial tilt of a planetary body. The persistent distributed key-value data store associated with the IBM Cloud Kubernetes service. [laughter]

Oh, my gosh… [laughs]

Who was that?!

I couldn’t even keep a straight face.

Syzygy - the fizzing that occurs after extracting two or more elements from their original state… Or syzygy, an alignment of three celestial bodies. We will start with Amal. I can reread or I can help you remember if you need to, which of those six definitions is the correct one for syzygy?

[00:10:09.18] I hate going first. Well, that was interesting… There was two references to planets. One sounded more legit than the other, but the element thing looked good, the proton thing seemed very legit, too… Can you read the planet once again?

Yes. This was number three, the maximum axial tilt of a planetary body.

Okay, I’m gonna go with that.

Alright. Lars, your turn.

What was the proton thing?

A phenomenon that occurs when a proton and an electron collide. Named after scientist Thomas Syzygy.

Sure. Let’s go with that one.

Okay. Taylor, your turn.

Let’s go for the spread. Let’s go for that other heavenly body one. Heavenly body, celestial body…

An alignment of three celestial bodies?

It’s a little early to be playing the spread, but go for it. [laughter]

You can’t start too soon. Okay. Emma, what do you think?

What are we left with?

We’re left with – so unused is the literary psychology one, and the…

IBM Kubernetes one…

Yeah, the Kubernetes service and the fizzing that occurs after extracting two or more elements. So those three.

Okay, I’ll go with the most sciency one, the fizzing that occurs…

That’s what I would have picked too, for what it’s worth…

That leaves… Adam.

Gosh… What was number four, Jerod?

Number four was the IBM Cloud Kubernetes service… [laughs] Sorry.

Let’s go with that one.

Okay. [laughter] Very good.

That sounds legit…

You’re a martyr, if I ever knew one, Adam…

He is playing the spread, man… He’s just playing the spread.

Yeah. We will see.

Okay, let’s start with that one. So Adam thought that Syzygy was the persistent distributed key-value data store associated with the IBM Cloud Kubernetes service. That was Emma’s definition. So one point for Emma.

It was so bad. I was gauging how strong all of your answers would be.

Nice.

Well, you got a point out of it, so not too bad.

Yeah, congrats.

Speaking of Emma, she guessed that says syzygy was the fizzing that occurs after extracting two or more elements… That was Adam’s, so you guys traded points there.

And Amal, you admitted you would have guessed it! You love my definitions! You love my definitions. [laughs]

I was so close to guessing that; honestly, it’s true. If you want to make me a T-shirt that says “I love Adam’s definitions”, I’ll wear it.

I’ll make it.

That would be a good one.

Do it.

Well, this time around, Amal, you chose the maximum axial tilt of a planetary body. Not Adam’s. That was Taylor’s definition. So one point for Taylor.

Darn it.

Good one.

Good job, Taylor.

Taylor guessed the other planetary one, which was an alignment of three celestial bodies… That was the correct definition, so Taylor got it right. He was close with his maximum axial tilt. So two points for him, plus one. Meanwhile, Lars, you guessed a phenomenon that occurs when a proton and electron collide. That was Amal’s, so she gets one point there.

Basically, you’re on-brand, Lars. You’re just picking my answers…

Yeah…

I need to know why Adam chose mine, because mine was complete BS. Like, that was not even –

Because it was BS.

Okay. Well, thank you.

So he just likes to see the world burn, or what?

[laughs]

Because it was BS, that’s why. It’s fun.

Alright. Well, that round goes to Taylor. He gets three points; two for getting it correct, and one for tricking Amal. Emma and Adam both scored, Amal scored… Our previous winner is sitting in last with zero. I also have zero, so… Off to a hot start. Let’s move to round two. Our word for round two is Ultracrepidarian. Ultracrepidarian. I will put it in the chat.

Hey Jerod, may I have the country of origin?

No.

For the word?

[00:14:10.17] This is not a spelling bee.

It’s not a spelling bee. Alright. The word is in the chat. The word is Ultracrepidarian. Spelled, for our listeners, it’s spelled Ultracrepidarian. Ultracrepidarian.

I almost sent my answer to Jason, our editor… It would have been like so random.

Yeah. He’d be like “What is this…?!”

Qu’est que ça?

“What did you call me?!”

Yeah, exactly.

“Ultracrepidarian…!”

Listen, just because I watch the Kardashians doesn’t mean – I’m just kidding…

Wait, what is a darian? Because if we’re talking about ultra-creepy darians… Do you know of someone?

You can’t phone a friend.

You can’t bring one on the show.

That’s someone who’s always daring you to do stuff…

But in a really crappy way.

Well, you know, they’ll double-dog dare you, they’ll triple-dog dare you… Taylor’s in.

I think we’re all very comfortable pretending like we know what we’re talking about… But sounding official in STEM is a little bit different.

It is hard, isn’t it? I feel like Adam might be waiting for ChatGPT to respond. He’s been slow lately.

[laughs] Yeah, he does look like he’s – he’s typing to ChatGPT “Please be terse and short.”

“Make up a definition for this word that you might actually have in your dictionary…”

“I need to be able to tweet it! This many characters”, you know?

I’m known to be an LLM, so there you go…

[laughs] Oh my God, imagine – we should train an LLM on just Changelog. That would be so fun.

There is one.

We have one that has been fine-tuned with our transcripts.

Why do I not know this? This is amazing.

Yeah, you can ask yourself questions. Yeah.

You can talk to you.

Okay, I have all six definitions. Are we ready? Number one, Ultracrepidarian - a person who gives opinions beyond their area of expertise, occasionally used in academic contexts. Number two, a ferocious beast from the Crepidarian period; was long believed to be the precursor in the evolutionary spectrum to the famous Tyrannosaurus Rex. Number three, the paramount operation within a set of mathematical combinatorics. Number four, a person who can read two pages at once. [laughter]

Amal, stop. You can’t just laugh in the middle of my readings. I’m trying to keep a straight face over here.

She can’t, actually.

She does. I need to like mute –

She should not.

I should just mute you guys…

Listen, we should never use the word should, okay? Let’s just put it that way.

Okay. Number five, Ultracrepidarian - a genus of sea urchins that were once thought to be unable to move. Don’t laugh, Amal. It has since been confirmed that they simply move very slowly. And last, number six - mammals which only attack their prey when they are sleeping. So there you have it. Six definitions for Ultracrepidarian. Can we identify which one is the actual definition? Lars, you are first.

Am I supposed to remember all of these?

[laughs] You can ask for – I can help you out.

Can you give me the mathy one again? Combinatoric something-something.

Yes. The paramount operation within a set of mathematical combinatorics. That’s a hard word to say.

Just remember we have somebody who studied math on the panel… Including myself, technically, but… I mean, Taylor, I think, is a little more advanced…

[00:18:04.28] I saw him laugh a lot at a different one… So I think he [unintelligible 00:18:07.10] on that one.

See, Lars plays the – he reads our faces the entire time that we’re reading these… Don’t you? Yeah…

He does. It smart. It’s a good move.

I like faces… And then there was one about Academic context… Being a smartass.

Yes, a person who gives opinions beyond their area of expertise, occasionally used in academic contexts.

No, I think that one was inspired by our conversation earlier. Let’s go with the combinatorics one. I think someone’s just trying to be fancy, but I’ll go with the mathy one, because none of them really worked for me.

What number is that one?

That’s number three. So Lars went for number three, the math one. Let’s go to Taylor now.

Creepy-sleepy.

That one is genuinely creepy.

Creepy-sleepy, dude.

Are you talking about the sea urchins?

No, the thing while you sleep. Yeah, the last one. Creepy-sleepy.

Mammals which only attack their prey while they’re sleeping?

Yeah, creepy sleepy.

Okay. I didn’t know that. I guess you’re right. Yes. Okay.

Creepy-sleepy.

Taylor. Good, goes for that one. Now we have Emma.

What were the first two, again?

The first two was the person who gives opinions beyond their area of expertise, and the second one was the ferocious beast from the Crepidarian period.

I’m gonna go with number one.

Alrighty. We go to Adam.

Pressure’s on… Let’s see here. Two and five, please. Give me those back.

Two was the ferocious beast from the Crepidarian period. Do you want the whole thing, or is that good enough?

End to end, please.

From the Crepdiarian period… It was long believed to be the precursor in the evolutionary spectrum to the famous Tyrannosaurus Rex. Number five was a genus of sea urchins that were once thought to be unable to move. It has since been confirmed that they simply move very slowly. That’s five.

I’m doubling up with Taylor. I’m going with six. I feel like the creepy-sleepy is the most on the money.

The mammal which only attack their prey when they’re sleeping?

Wait, are we allowed to choose the same as someone else?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

Yeah. I’m piling on six.

Cool.

The reason why people spread is to lock me out of points… Because if no one gets it right, I get points, and so that’s why you want to spread your answers… But you do not have to. So now we go to Amal. Last up, Amal.

I have conviction though.

He’s got conviction.

I’m gonna play the spread a little bit. I would have gone with the mammals one, the creepy-sleepy thing, but I think the sea urchins one sounds so ridiculous that I don’t think anyone here has made it up. So…

Okay, so Amal goes for the sea urchins. That’s number five. Yes.

Yeah. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on… Is this another Adam answer? Because if it is, then I don’t want to pick this.

I mean, [unintelligible 00:20:51.00] I think you should choose it, because it’s mine…

Do you want to change it? [laughs]

I don’t remember the numbers of answers unless they’re mine, so…

Well, Adam works around numbers.

That’s a tell. Okay, fine. Fine.

Don’t choose mine.

Sea urchin. Sea urchin. Let’s do it. And if it’s yours, Adam, this is 00 yeah, we’re officially starting a war if this is yours.

Well, let’s find out right away. So Amal thought perhaps Ultracrepidarian was a genus of sea urchins… And maybe Adam wrote that. But no, Lars wrote that. So one point for Lars.

Thank you…

Oh, that was so good, Lars.

He almost lost his point there, because we almost talked Amal out of doing it, and he would have lost that point.

Well, no, because Adam basically fronted like it was his, so… Man, tricky, tricky, tricky… It’s fine. The war is not on. I mean, the war has been delayed, so that’s all that matters.

Still on.

Lars thought that Ultracrepidarian was the paramount operation within a set of mathematical combinatorics. Tough to spit that one out. That was Emma’s definition. Good job, Emma.

That was a good definition. Saying that I thought it was that is stating it strongly, but… Yes. I did pick that one.

Yeah… You did say it could be someone BS-ing, so…

You should have gone for the one that Emma did. I’m pretty sure that was the right one.

[00:22:11.05] [laughs]

You should have gone for the other one.

Taylor thinks he should have picked Emma’s, which was a person who gives opinions beyond their area of expertise… And he should have, because that’s the correct answer. That is what an Ultracrepidarian is.

No way…! Did anybody pick that one?

Yeah, me.

Yeah, Emma got it.

You did? Oh, awesome. Good job, Emma!

Thanks!

So three total points for Emma this round. But we’re not done yet, because who picked that creepy-sleepy…? Taylor and Adam both fell for Amal’s definition. Two points for Amal!

Ha-ha! I win! Yes! [laughter] Winner of the day.

No…!

That was a good one, though.

They even like remixed it and called it creepy-sleepy. I mean, honestly, I should get double points for that.

Well, we’ll just give you the correct amount of points, but…

They came up with their own definition of my definition.

They did. So much so that it confused me.

I actually knew the answer for this one, but I really wanted to say creepy-sleepy… [laughter]

Well-played… I mean, poorly-played, but well-played on another [unintelligible 00:23:22.07]

Wait, you knew the definition, but you didn’t give it to Jerod?

Yeah, I knew this one. I just wanted to say creepy-sleepy. [laughs]

Listen, Taylor’s not a capitalist like all of us, okay?

No, he’s an anarchist.

He’s here to have fun, not here to win. Okay?

So did you know it after I read it to you then? Because you didn’t submit it.

Oh, yeah. I knew – when you said it, I was like “Oh, yeah, that’s it.”

Once I read it. Yeah. Alright, after two rounds we have Emma in first place, with four points, we have Amal and Taylor in second with three, Lars and Adam tied in last, with one; I guess technically I’m last with zero, but we don’t have to talk about that.

Let’s move now to round three, and Omphaloskepsis. Omphaloskepsis. Please submit to me Omphaloskepsis now. Or whenever you’re ready. I’m actually gonna go get a drink of water and bring it back, so take your time… Take your time, I’ll be right back.

Take all the time you need. This one’s hard.

Don’t talk about me while I’m gone.

Hey you guys, we’re doing great, because Jerod is at zero points, and we’re already on round three. I just want to say, great job, everyone. Keep going strong, okay? He can’t win this, or even come close.

This is much more difficult after a full day of work.

Yeah, they have it easy. It’s good to have someone else in the timezone.

Exactly. Us Europeans have to [unintelligible 00:30:26.28] I say that as if I’ve completely just abandoned my US American identity… Which, frankly, I have…

Now all you have to do is work on the accent, Emma, and then you’ll be good. You’ve already got like a half-Swedish baby…

Honestly, I would say, it seems like you’re pretty far along with the accent.

[unintelligible 00:30:46.20]

Firstly, I actually heard it as a bit of a Norwegian accent, which is not bad, because those sound so happy.

Yeah, it’s I’m learning it from preschool. My daughter’s in Swedish pre-school and I’m just picking it up from her. So…

Okay, I have all six definitions for Omphaloskepsis. Are we ready? Okay, number one, a symptom of the lymph nodes where they react to and reject a substance the body has consumed; usually accompanied by significant discomfort and irritation of the mucous membranes. Number two, a process in theoretical immunology whereby the functions of cells within the immune system attack one another. Number three, also known as wigglebone disease… [laughter] An infection of the cartilage protrusion on the tip of the nose.

On the tip of the nose. Wow.

[laughs] Number four - a form of scoliosis, where the deterioration of the spine occurs because of inflammation of the spinal fluid. Number five, the contemplation of one’s navel. [laughter] Sorry. The contemplation of one’s navel as an aid to meditation. And number six, similar to facial myalgia, Omphaloskepsis is an infection of the skin inside the nostrils.

How did we get two nose ones?

So lots of medical definitions here… We have six of them, read at various qualities of reading… And we have Taylor up first. What, sir, do you think Omphaloskepsis means?

I think the two nose ones sound like they were written by extremely intelligent people, so I will go – [laughter] I will go with the skin one, and not the wigglebone disease.

Okay, so Taylor picks number six. An infection of the skin inside the nostrils. We go to Emma.

I’m going with number one. That thing about the lymph nodes.

Okay. Emma picks lymph nodes. We go to Adam.

I’m thinking three or five… What’s three again? No, sorry, two or four. Two or four.

Two was the process in theoretical immunology whereby the functions of cells within the immune system attack one another. And four was a form of scoliosis where the deterioration of the spine occurs because of inflammation in the spinal fluid.

Let’s go with that one. Number four.

Okay, number four goes to Adam. Back to Amal now…

Yeah, the fluid thing sounds really good… But the first one I think really hooked me in.

You’re gonna pile on with Emma on number one?

Well, do you see I’m in the lead there, Adam?

[laughs] She has a point…

The scoliosis thing makes sense, because it’s like –

Scoliosis is number four. Adam picked that one. Number one is the symptom of the lymph nodes.

It’s true.

So Adam, do you want me to join you with team scoliosis?

Nah… [laughter]

[00:33:58.20] Okay, I’m gonna go with my girl Emma.

Okay, so you’re on lymph nodes as well.

Mm-hm.

Okay.

It’s a bad move.

Do we split the points if we both are correct?

You both score them, yes. You don’t split them, you score them.

Okay, that’s good. Okay.

And Lars… Lars but not least…

It’s between immunology and the spinal fluid… But I’ll go with immunology; get a bit more spread.

A process in theoretical immunology?

Number two.

Okay. That’s number two. Lars.

That one sounded very fake, Lars. I’m surprised you picked that out there. I just wanna put that out there. Shots fired…

I’ll go with that one.

No one got the real definition.

Let’s find out where the ladies landed. They both picked lymph nodes, and Lars was smiling all ears when you did that. Two points for him. That was his definition.

Lars…!

Sorry, Amal. I was only a bio major for three months, so…

For three months? Okay.

What was the word again?

Omphaloskepsis.

Oompa Loompa.

Yeah, well, isn’t that the chocolate river in Willy Wonka, the Oompa Loompa sepsis? [laughter]

I was like, they were the little baby dancers.

Oh, yeah… Let’s check out scoliosis. Adam liked to check that one out, and Amal checked that one in. That was her definition. Adam, you’re loving Amal.

Yeah, Adam…

It was a good one. The tables are turning!

I tried to get Lars to come my way, but you know… Now I have to pick a different tactic. I can’t comment on my answers. That’s like – it’s already out. So just so you know, when I’m commenting on other answers, it’s not mine. Just so you know.

Okay.

Actually playing reverse psychology on you…

Sorry. Just so you know.

Lars like a process in theoretical immunology… Amal said that sounded really fake. It turns out it was really fake. Emma made that one up.

Good job, Emma. Yay!

Figures…

Two in a row, Lars. I’m coming for you.

Now the question is, can Taylor play the spread to much effect? Because he’s the last one left to keep me out of the points… And he picked similar to facial myalgia - Omphaloskepsis is an infection of the skin inside the nostrils… Adam, was that one right?

Nah.

No, that was Adam’s. One point for Adam, which means nobody landed on the correct definition… The contemplation of one’s navel as an aid to meditation. Woo-hoo!

[laughs]

Are you serious? Was that real?

That’s real.

Ohm my gosh…

What?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…

Everything I know is a lie…

You can’t pick ridiculous definitions, okay? That’s not part of the game. Because we make up the ridiculous ones.

It’s kind of part of it…

Oh, darn it!

See, now I’ve thrown a wrench in your plans. It turns out when I laugh at the definition it’s not necessarily because it’s wrong… It’s just because it’s funny.

Oh, look at that…

So three points for me in round three. Excellent job, Jerod. Thank you very much. After three rounds, Emma’s still though sitting in first with five, Amal with four, three-way tie at three between Lars, Taylor and myself. And Adam pulling up the caboose with two points.

Yeah, you know…

Do you all remember from the last time neuromuscular reeducation being like the acronym for NMR?

Yes…

And we were just like “No way. Nope. Reeducation - like, that is really pushing it.” And then no one picked it , and it was real. This just feels like that.

Can we talk about a form of meditation wherein you stare at your navel? I mean, come on… Let’s move on, round four. This is our TLA round, which stands for Three Letter Acronym. It turns out it’s a four-letter acronym this time… But it’s a special round where I give an acronym, you all provide the words behind said acronym, and the definition of the words. So much like NMR last time was neuromuscular reeducation - you provide that, plus the definition.

[00:38:00.15] Okay, and the acronym that you’re going to do is VLSI. V as in Victor, L as in loser, S as in Saturday, and I as in Indigo. But that’s not what it stands for. It’s not Victor Loser Saturday Indigo, if anybody was thinking they might submit that. Can I just say from the last round - yes, Taylor’s was the wigglebone disease… Please don’t say “also known as…” I just can’t handle them, okay? [laughter] As soon as I saw that, I’m like “Oh, I’m gonna struggle… I can’t read Also Known As’es.”

I [unintelligible 00:38:36.08] have said “Similar to the facial myalgia” then.

Yeah, that one actually worked. That one didn’t crack me up.

That’s a made-up term in my house. The kids put their face in the bathtub, like under the water, and I tell them they’re getting facial myalgia.

Okay… [laughter]

It’s a way to get them to not put their face in the water when their brothers are having a bath together. It’s just, you know, there’s things in there.

It’s also a way for them to have trauma around putting their face in the water for the rest of their life…

Oh, my kids love it. They laugh their butts off. They don’t even care. They actually think it’s hilarious.

They want facial myalgia.

They do. They’re like “Dad, I have facial myalgia.” [laughs] It’s not working. It’s not working…

Give it a minute and they’ll start going “Oh, I can’t go to school today… You know, facial myalgia.” [laughter]

“Why were you out yesterday?” “I had facial myalgia…” “What in the world is that?!”

That sounds legit.

Yeah.

I made a mistake this morning… I want to go get a drink. I chose lavender melon kombucha as my drink… [laughs]

Lavender is not the right choice for beverage or food.

Yeah. It’s definitely not a consumable… It seems like a flavor that ChatGPT made up. They were like “Alright, ChatGPT, come up with a new flavor combo.” And it’s like “I’m a machine, I’ve never tasted anything… But okay, here it goes.”

We had some lavender chocolate, and none of us could eat it.

It sounds disgusting.

The chocolate bit was fine, but it tasted like bed linens.

Well, yeah. Lavender, right?

Nicely-handled fresh bed linens… But it’s just not something I want in my food.

Which is a great smell…

If you like that, you should taste my homemade muffins. They taste exactly like bed linens.

Jerod, I altered my definition… So the text is edited if you just copy the new one…

Gotcha.

I kept mine exactly the same, Jerod, just so you know… [laughter]

Okay, we’re throwing shade just because you’re last place, Adam? Come on… [laughter]

Oh, snap!

Scary-spicy…

Coming hot!

Shots fired… Shots fired…

Everybody’s always changing their answers [unintelligible 00:40:57.12] put it out there. Keeping it the same.

Making fun or giving Adam and Jerod a hard time - it’s just so easy. You guys are such easy targets… It’s because we all love you, so you’re just so easy to like poke at…

Well, feel free to poke at me whenever you like.

I like that.

[laughs] Jerod, I’m a married lady, okay? I can’t be poking randos…

Alright, WTF does that TLA mean? VLSI. Six definitions. Vision Lens Spectrum Interceptor - the apparatus used to mimic the human eyes’ ability to capture light. VLSI - Verilog Language System Integration - a language for Field Programmable Gate Arrays (FPGAs). VLSI - Vector Language Symbol Interference, a shorthand used to store large computational vector data as a means of reducing cloud storage costs. Number four, VLSI - Very Large Scale Integration, the process of creating an integrated circuit by combining millions or billions of transistors onto a single chip.

[00:42:18.13] Number five, Vector LASIK Surface Incision - a minimally-invasive type of dermal laser treatment using acute angles and low power. And number six, Vector Longitudinal Scalar Intersection, a Cartesian coordinate where two vectors intersect along a horizontal plane, typically used in aerospace engineering to calculate the angle at which the wings are attached to the fuselage. There you have it, six I think pretty good definitions this time around. One of those is the real definition, and the real acronym. And five of them are not.

I’m not convinced there’s a real one in there…

I’m amazed that we used vector more than once.

Or did we?

Last round Taylor went first, so this round Emma will go first. Emma, which of those do you think is the correct definition?

Could you read one and five again, please?

Yes. One was the Vision Lens Spectrum Interceptor, an apparatus used to mimic the human eyes’ ability to capture light, and five was Vector LASIK Surface Incision, a minimally-invasive type of dermal laser treatment using acute angles and low power.

Just to let you guys know, that one’s the correct one. That’s what they did to fix my wiggle-bone disease. [laughter]

I mean, what are the chances we get three vectors out of six answers? So I have to assume it’s gotta be one of those, right?

Well, Emma, in all fairness, these are all a bunch of software engineers, so I’m not surprised about that. We see the word V and we think vectors these days…

Right.

Vector’s the new cult, too.

But you literally just said you were surprised, so now I don’t believe you…

Maybe I was playing a game.

I’ll go with five… I’ll just go with five, yeah.

Emma’s going with five. Alright, we now go to Adam. Which one do you think it is?

None of them. Gosh…

Vector? Victor? Was the vector victor?

I’m not going with vector… What’s two and six again, Jerod?

Two and six?

Yeah.

I feel like these are arbitrary numbers when you guys ask me for them. [laughter] Like “Yeah, three and seven…” Two is the Verilog Language System Integration, a language for Field Programmable Gate Arrays.

Oh.

Six was the Vector Longitudinal Scalar Intersection, a Cartesian coordinate where two vectors intersect along a horizontal plane; typically used in aerospace engineering to calculate the angle at which the wings are attached to the fuselage. Or fuselage, if you’re so inclined.

The choice is so hard…

Please don’t make me read these again.

This is really hard, honestly.

What was three again?

Three - Vector Language Symbol Interference. Do you want the full definition?

No.

No… [laughs]

Absolutely not.

That’s good. I did not want to read it.

Which bad one should I choose…? I’m gonna go with number two. Gosh, this Verilog stuff’s got me.

Number two… The Verilog Language System Integration? Alright, you got it. Next up, Amal. [laughter]

Sorry…

You’re making all kinds of noises…

Well, no, because this is really hard.

It is hard.

Well, tell us your thought process. What are you thinking?

Well, what am I thinking is I think all the vector ones are from the engineers, which is pretty much everyone… So I want to go with a non-vector answer. So could we just summarize…? I don’t need the definitions. Just give me the non-vector ones. Can you list those out?

The non-vector ones. The Verilog Language System Integration, the Vision Lens Spectrum Interceptor, and the Very Large Scale Integration.

[00:46:02.26] One of the vector ones was not programming or engineering in that way…

Yeah, it had to do with aerospace. Yeah. And I think that definition was way too long to be real. So that’s my pry. I eliminated it there.

No, hold on… There was one more.

There’s so many…

One of them was a vector laser, right?

There’s three vectors. Vector LASIK, Vector Longitudinal, and Vector Language. And then there’s other words too, but those are the three vectors.

What’s the second one that you’ve read that was not vectors?

Vision Lens Spectrum Interceptor, the apparatus used to mimic the human eyes’ ability to capture light.

Let’s do that one.

Amal lands on that one.

And if I see somebody smiling here, then you know what? You got me. [laughs]

Lars, what have you got?

My thinking is that the most kind of crisp engineery type definitions have been Emma’s consistently, so I think a very long one is probably Emma, because it seems like nerd bait.

[laughs] It seems like nerd bait…

I’ll take that as a compliment, actually…

Yeah, I think that was a compliment.

Yeah, go for it. And the dumbest-seeming one, which I think is what Jerod would have picked, because he’s absolutely kind of spicing up the definitions, seems to be the Very Large one. So read that one again, because I didn’t catch all of it.

Very Large Scale Integration - the process of creating an integrated circuit by combining millions or billions of transistors onto a single chip.

Okay, can I change my answer?

No.

Just for the record, I want to say that I would have picked that had I heard that definition again.

I’ve read it like six times.

I’m going with the Very Large one, because naming things in hardware is silly…

There he goes. He’s got it. And Taylor.

It is the Very Large one.

Oh, confident man. It is the Very Large one. So are you picking it though? Because you’ve been known not to pick the one that’s correct.

I’m falling behind,, so I’ve got to pick the correct one this time.

Alright. Taylor had to pick the correct one. And Lars was on point, Taylor was on point; that is the correct one. Very Large Scale Integrations. So two points for each of you for getting it correct.

Now I’m super-curious if I was right about which one was Emma’s…

She was number three.

You were wrong, because that was actually Taylor’s. He’s also good at nerd bait. Have you read his blog?

But he usually doesn’t do it. [laughter]

Because I think VLSI has to do with FPGAs. So like, very large scale integration - it’s like programming a whole bunch of tiny, tiny little hardware chips.

Nice.

Also known as Very Large…

Very Large, yeah.

Yeah, I’m happy that I now know what that strategy is, Lars. I think when in doubt, pick the most ridiculous one. I think that has seemed to be the most consistent –

That’s not gonna be consistent, because it’s gonna be mixing it up…

Really?

Yeah. Next time… Next time, there’s going to be a definition with a spelling error in it.

Oh…!

So he will be tripped up while reading it.

You’re really meta-gaming this thing.

But that’s one episode out still…

[laughs]

Okay, speaking of spelling errors though, you guys, I think I would have actually won this round had I not spelled the wrong – I was supposed to say Vector Language Symbol Inference. And this makes sense. It’s a shorthand used to store large computational vector data as a means of reducing cloud storage costs. I’m thinking of, “How do I reduce my logging costs?” “Well, we use shorthands.” I think that makes sense…

Yeah. Here’s where the problem is - you said all the vectors were engineers, and so at that point you outed yourself.

You peed in the pool.

You peed in the pool.

It doesn’t matter. That’s the point. You’re supposed to do that stuff. But yes, you’re right… I’m wrong. [laughs]

Fair, fair. Alright. Well, let’s get the rest of these figured out. So the Verilog one - that was Taylor’s nerd bait and Adam fell for the bait, so he guessed that one, and that gave Taylor another point.

Good job, Taylor.

[00:50:02.11] Vector LASIK Surface Incision - Emma guessed that. That was Lars’es, so he also gains another point for tricking somebody; three for each of you. And Vision Lens Spectrum Interceptor - you know Amal loves Adam’s definitions, so he got her with that one.

Of course he did… Like a moth to the flame, you know?

Yes. So three points for Lars, three points for Taylor, one point for Adam…

Was four Lars’es, though? Was Lars’es number four?

Four was the correct one, that was mine.

Oh. Okay, nevermind.

The Very Large Scale Integration. Yeah.

Because I was watching Lars laugh really hard when four was read… And I was thinking he laughed at his own thing, or it was that ridiculous. And I think it was both…

It was just funny that it was called Very Large…

Yeah, Very Large Scale… Alright, after four rounds we have a two-way tie for first, Lars and Taylor. We have Emma in second with five, Amal in third with four, and Adam and Jerod tied for last, with three points. We move now to round five. Your word for round five is Zymurgy. Zymurgy. Oh, you put that in the chat.

That’s not my real one. [unintelligible 00:51:19.20]

I like that one.

[laughs]

Oh man, this is hard. This one’s tough.

For those not in the chat, Zymurgy, “A controversial dance move band from the 1988 Olympics.” I just like the idea that it’d be a dance move band. And the specificity [unintelligible 00:51:43.14] is also a nice touch.

I actually had to do the math. I was like, [unintelligible 00:51:50.08]

Controversially, there was one in 1972…

Actually, that might work out…

You’re pretty safe just guessing even-yeared numbers, right? Pretty safe.

That dance move was the cause of them having to do the 1989 Olympics. Did you go and start your printer, Adam?

Yeah. That’s what I call that.

You call it the printer?

That’s what I just did, [unintelligible 00:52:24.16] starting the printer.

[laughs] I’m very confused…

[unintelligible 00:52:31.01]

Oh, did he flush the toilet? Is that what happened? [laughs]

You heard that? It’s really far away.

I did not hear a thing, for what it’s worth…

The other day I was driving the kids home… I was driving home with the kids, and I told them when we get home, I’m gonna drop the kids off at the pool, and two of my kids were completely stunned, had no idea I was talking about… And my nine-year-old boy, he was onto it immediately. Oh, yeah. He’s like “That is so funny.” He said it for like the next three days straight.

Oh, that’s so funny…

“Drop the kids off at the pool!” Alright. I just thought of that because, you know –

I did not drop any kids off at the pool just now, just to be clear…

Gotta go run a print job. I’m gonna use that one next… [laughter]

Taking the browns to the Super-Bowl. [laughter]

The level has risen.

I’m pretty sure that was a number one and not a number two. If it was a number two, that’s really impressive…

Speedy. Speedy Gonzales.

Just printing over here, don’t worry about me… [laughter] Turning on my printer.

Alright. Zymurgy - the result of a merge event of two zygotes. An academic term for the lack of a synergistic effect where two separate processes do not interact or affect one another in a measurable way. The process in which a zygote or a fertilized egg cell resulting from the union of an egg and a sperm embeds itself within the uterine lining. This process is also more commonly referred to as implantation.

[00:54:02.06] Zymurgy occurs when there is more than one asteroid headed in the same direction. The study of fermentation and brewing. Or the cooperative advantage of small, independent groups. Six definitions for Zymurgy. Adam, you’re up first this time.

Read number six again, please?

Number six is the cooperative advantage of small independent groups.

That’s like the anomaly of them all, you know? They’re all very scientific. Two was too long, five was fermentation… I’m going with six.

Six. Adam goes with the cooperative advantage of small, independent groups, and we go to Amal.

I’m gonna go with number one.

Number one, the result of the merge event of two zygotes?

Okay, maybe not.

What do you mean?

Okay, fine. Fine. Let’s do that. The other one with zygotes also sounded interesting, but let’s do that one.

Merging goats…

Lars.

This one was genuinely very tricky… What was the one with just one zygote?

The process in which a zygote or a fertilized egg cell resulting from a union of an egg and a sperm embeds itself within the uterine lining. This process is also more commonly referred to as implantation. That was number three.

I’m not sure it’s referred to as implantation, but okay. [laughter]

Speculating the speculation. I love it. “I’m not sure it’s referred to as that…”

It’s just called making a baby. Baby-making.

There’s lots of terms for it.

Human creation.

You know, a baby goat is called a kid. So kids become goats, and zygotes become kids.

Oh, deep.

[laughs] That’s the title of this episode.

That’s very meta. Yeah. A baby goat is a kid.

“Give me my baby goat…”

What are you gonna go with, Lars? Do you like that one, or did implantation scare you off?

No, I’m trying to remember the other ones.

They were all pretty crappy, for what it’s worth… [laughter] Not our best round.

We have the study of fermentation and brewing, we have more than one asteroid headed in the same direction… Do you want more? …with the cooperative advantage of small independent groups…

I’ll actually go with the small independent groups as well.

Okay. Taylor, your turn.

I have no clue. [laughter]

Welcome to the club.

You guys took the good one. Let’s go with the fermentation. Was there one about fermentation?

Yes. The study of fermentation in brewing.

Yeah, that sounds wrong, but let’s do it.

[laughs] Oh, my gosh…

I think that’s called hipsterism.

Okay. And Emma…

Originally, I was gonna pick number one as well, but then I’m thinking, can two zygotes actually merge? I don’t think – is that scientifically possible? And it sounds very much like the merging of zygotes, so that seems like an easy definition. Also, the last one sounds like corporate BS, so it could also be true… What is a corporate advantage or collaborative advantage?

A cooperative advantage of small independent groups.

Like, what the hell does that mean?

Game theory, dude…

Game theory, dude… [laughter] I love it.

Pretty defensive there, Taylor.

I don’t know, man. I can’t get on board with the – the fermentation is like a scientific thing that happens with growth and whatnot…

It’s like metallurgy, zymurgy…

But then there’s synergy, which is also cooperation of team people, so I’m like “Hmm…”

Right. So you’re gonna go with corporate, or you’re gonna go with beer?

Whoever made up that cooperation thing is gonna get a whole boatloat of points this round.

[00:58:10.04] I’m gonna trust Taylor and go with the fermentation, because I feel like we would have heard the term zymurgy if it was really a corporate BS word. [laughter]

Wow…

Hey, that’s pretty good logic, actually. Alright, Taylor and Emma team up. No spread. Wow. This is dangerous, guys…

I’m an independent on number one. I just want to put that out there.

Tell her, Jerod.

Amal – let’s start right there then. Amal independently picked Adam’s again. [laughter]

Adam, I hate you! What’s going on? This is not fair. This is not fair at all.

It’s like clockwork.

As per usual, it doesn’t go well for the independents. Sorry to say…

[laughs] Yes…

Adam teamed up with Lars to pick the cooperative advantage of small independent groups… Emma almost picked it, but she thought we would know about it if it was a real silly term… And it’s a fake silly term made up by Taylor. So two points there.

Good one.

It’s not even science. That’s what I was trying to understand, y’all; that’s not even STEM. Like, how was that – like, I didn’t want to point that out, but it’s not.

It’s game theory, guys…

It’s game theory, which is science.

[laughs] I like how you responded “It’s game theory, dude.”

And the spread was not applied… So a lot riding on this. Taylor and Emma both thought zymurgy was the study of fermentation and brewing… Unfortunately, they were correct. That is the correct definition, which means I score zero points. Emma gets two for that, Taylor gets four for the round… Big round for Taylor, moving him in the first place with 10 points. He’s two points away from stealing this one. I think we should start minding the Taylor spread, as he has 10. Emma has seven, in second, Lars has six, Amal and Adam with four, and me, a meager flask three.

Round six. Your word - I guess it’s a phrase in this case - for round six is Wirth’s Law. Wirth is the name, and Law is the game. Please submit to me your definitions…

I really feel like I’ve heard of this, but I have no idea…

Yeah, I’ve heard of this, too. What is it…?

Game theory, dude.

Game theory, dude.

That’s gonna be my answer to everything from now.

It’s better than an It Depends.

That’s what I’m gonna tell my clients. “So how do we do that?” “Well, game theory, dude.”

It’s better than saying automagical. You just say it’s game Theory.

What’s wrong with saying automagical? Stop hating on that. It’s a great word.

It’s a stupid word.

I saw your little thing about that. No, it’s a fantastic –

No, it’s not.

Automagic… Every time I use it, especially outside of tech settings, people fall in love with me, give me their numbers, and stuff… It’s crazy.

That’s one of the reasons why it’s stupid. It’s like manipulative.

[laughs]

All I can think of is Sturgeon’s Law right now, which is – Sturgeon’s Law is 90% of everything is crap.

It’s a good law.

Yeah…

Wirth’s Law.

Pegleg boy from Diablo.

Hm… I don’t play that game.

It was a very good game.

I heard that.

I think we need to play music during the live show, not the edited show… Just putting it out there, Jerod. It’s time to step up your host game.

Elevator music. Can we have Mat in for –

Making up jingles?

Yeah, that would be nice… Just for some [unintelligible 01:05:55.27] make up jargon during the strumming, just to inspire us…

Or actually now that BMC has been on the show… Just be here. Just Polka…

[01:06:10.27] Yeah, live VMC would be sweet.

That would be extremely distracting for me… I love music, especially EDM…

Well, it’s gonna be Polka, so…

Well, you’re the one that requested it, Amal.

I know, but I didn’t request EDM, live EDM, with a DJ. That’s not what I – that’s a party for me.

We throw parties around here. It’s what we do.

That’s true, that’s true…

Let’s see. Am I missing some still? I’m missing Adam’s. Consistently the last enterer.

I just can’t think of anything. I’ve got law block.

Is that like [unintelligible 01:06:46.18]

That’s right.

Taylor, I think we need to get you a T-shirt that says “I started from the bottom and now I’m on top.” Remember last time? I think you were the expected winner, but then it turned out to be Lars…

Yes.

I expected Lars to win… [laughter]

Thank you.

Yeah. Look at him.

Well, Taylor is within striking distance. We begin round six, Wirth’s Law… We have six definitions. Number one, the quality of a codebase is inversely proportional to the number of people that work on it. Number two, two particles of the same mass, but different densities, will have the same release of energy during combustion. Number three, an adage on computer performance which states that software is getting slower, more rapidly that hardware is becoming faster. Number four, science can never be used to prove something. Number five - proposed in the late 1900s, Wirth’s Law states that the security of a cryptographic system depends on the key length and algorithmic complexity rather than the secrecy of the algorithm. And number six… [laughter]

This one has to be very serious… [laughter]

Also known as meager flask…

Yes…

Also known as meager flask…

And number six, Wirth’s Law - when in doubt, Pareto’s Principle.

What?!

[laughs]

I have a feeling I know who wrote that.

Wirth’s Law - when in doubt, Pareto’s Principle.

Okay…

We begin now with Amal.

I think three sounded the most interesting, and so did five. Could you repeat those two?

Three was the adage on computer performance, which states that the software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware is becoming faster. Number five was the security of a cryptographic system depends on the key length and algorithmic complexity rather than the secrecy of the algorithm.

Yeah, that’s too many words. I think I’m gonna go with three.

Three. Very good. Lars?

I’ll go with the cryptographic one.

Cryptographic one, that’s number five. Taylor?

I completely forgot all of them, so I’m gonna pile on with Amal, because she’s gone independent a few times, and I feel like I need to support her.

Oh, thanks. It was getting lonely over here, you know?

[laughs] She sounds unimpressed. Okay. He’s gonna pile on… So that’s with the adage on computer performance etc, etc.

Yeah, there was two computer performance ones, right?

Yeah, number one and number three. So you’re on number three, or did you want number one? The quality of a codebase is inversely proportional to the number of the people that work on it.

That sounds fake. Let’s go with three.

And I think for the sake of the game, let’s hope that I’m wrong, and so is Taylor. I just want to put that out there.

No problem. Okay. Emma, what are you thinking?

Man… What was number two again?

[01:09:54.00] Number two was Wirth’s Law states that two particles of the same mass but different densities will have the same release of energy during combustion.

I’m so tired of the space ones, not for any particular reason other than my brain does not comprehend the meaning behind the words… So I’m torn between one and whichever one Amal and Taylor piled onto, so…

That’s three.

I’ll go one to spread it out.

For what it’s worth, the particles don’t have to be in space. Like, they can be any particles. [laughter]

Isn’t it all space?

That’s not worth much, Amal… Thanks though.

Too many words.

[laughs]

I just wanted to make sure… Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

Amal wants to clarify the definition, for some reason… Adam, what are you thinking?

I’m not picking two, but I want to hear it again. [laughter]

You want to hear it again?

Oh, yeah. End to end.

Wirth’s Law states that two particles of the same mass, but different densities, will have the same release of energy during combustion. And in parentheses it says “Whether it’s in space or not.” [laughter]

What about number one again? What was that one again? Inversely what?

Number one, the quality of a codebase is inversely proportional to the number of people that work on it.

And three they’re piling on. What’s the difference with that one? Computer performance what?

Software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware is becoming faster.

Oh, yeah. Let’s hang there, with everybody else…

You’re gonna hang out with everybody else?

Yeah.

Okay.

I personally actually believe in that, which is why I picked it.

That’s truth right there… I’m not sure if it’s a law, but that’s truth.

Alright. Well, let’s start with Emma. She thought perhaps Wirth’s Law is that the quality of a codebase is inversely proportional to the number of people that work on it. Taylor thought that sounded made up, and that’s because he made it up, and so she gets one point for that. He’s now one point away of being the victor.

Lars thought that perhaps it was the cryptographic system that depends on the key length and the algorithmic complexity, rather than the secrecy of the algorithm… And that was Emma’s definition. So one point for her.

Yeah, Emma, you do have the most technical and nerdy definitions, I just want to put that out there, for sure.

I read a lot, you know?

That’s why I also projected that you would be the winner of this game, to be honest, just because you’re the one who reads the most…

Well, thank you.

Yeah, excellent definition. Borderline, they’re too good. They’re a little bit too long, a little bit too studious… They need to be –

Yeah, I get it… I’ll dumb it down for everyone, it’s okay.

Dumb it down for us, would ya?

They’re too ChatGPT, you know what I mean? But I know you didn’t use it. It was like EmmaGPT you know…

I know.

Yeah, she’s like a robot.

Do you have a book list somewhere?

Of what?

Of the books you read?

[laughs] Just books…

I mean, I’m on Goodreads, but I read every genre. So if you’ve got a preference, come see me. I’ll hook you up.

Nice. Well, it all comes down to this, since Taylor is one point away from winning… He piled on. We have Amal, Taylor and Adam. They’re all on number three… And so maybe they’re all correct, or maybe they’re all wrong, and we play on. Wirth’s Law - an adage on computer performance which states that software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware is becoming faster. It sounds true, and it sounds like Wirth’s Law indeed. So you guys all got it correct.

Yaaay!!

It is Wirth’s Law.

Oh, no. Taylor, no!

No…! We’re giving Taylor three points for the round. Adam gets two, Amal gets two… And after six rounds of play, Taylor with 13 points is our winner.

Nice.

Yay!

Yaay!

Good job, Taylor.

Yeah, good job, actually. Yes.

As the victor, you now have to give a speech.

I have to give a speech?

Yes. So right now, on the spot, you have to give some kind of speech. We’ll wait eagerly your words.

[01:14:00.24] I think the last long thing I wrote about on taylor.town, my website, was my pardoning of engineers. I pardoned all junior engineers… I think that’s the last long speech I gave very impassioned. I think if you want to read that online, that’s still there. It also has an associated little repo called wigwam.directory. That’s a URL that you can type into your browser, Wigwam.directory… And that will lead you to a list of alternative projects to bloat… Because Wirth’s Law states that software is getting slower than hardware is getting faster… I don’t like that. So wigwam.directory is a, I think, [unintelligible 01:14:47.20] solution to that. So that’s my speech. And pointer to a speech.

Very good. We will link up the pointer to the speech, as well as to the wigwam.directory. I didn’t know of this TLD; that’s a new one to me. Very cool. Let’s do some quick postgame analysis as we close; a nice cooldown… Lars, your thoughts on this round of #define, and why you didn’t win.

Oh… Because I played too poorly. That’s why.

Oh, okay.

But it was fun to see Taylor kind of start by going into his old shenanigans, and just like, there was something goofy… It was the wigglebone… I think it started with the wiggle bone, but then he just played it straight, I think, generally.

He’s got a great poker face…

…when he wants to…

Because he always looks a little ridiculous, you know? So it’s like, you can’t tell.

Game Theory.

[laughs] Game theory, dude.

Game theory.

Yeah. If you look at his eyes when you’re reading out things, he’s just like an owl, hunting in the dark. He’s like this, like that…

Dang…

Yeah, yeah, you’re very – I can’t tell what you’re thinking. You have the best poker face out of everyone. Congrats.

Amal, when I look into your eyes, I see –

Aww… Do you want me to take my glasses off? Would that be better for you?

Oh, there we go. There we go.

Yeah. [laughs]

This is the eyes of a crow; like a very smart crow… [laughter]

That’s such a compliment. Thank you. I love crows. Crows are so –

[unintelligible 01:16:25.01] that solves puzzles.

Oh…

That’s like the nicest thing anyone has said to me this year. Thank you.

You need to get out more, dear…

This year. We’re at the end of the year, too. That’s good.

That’s a long time. Yeah, that’s a very nice compliment.

That is.

Let’s go to Adam. Adam, you were you’re trailing behind, but you actually pulled into a three-way tie for third place at the end of the game with that last round. Your thoughts on #define and your placement here. Third place… Nothing to shake a stick out, or at… How do you feel?

[01:17:02.14] I think it’s just challenging to write these definitions. It really is. It’s challenging, because they – you can be so ridiculous because you’re trying to make something up. And then you’re also trying to decipher through the BS. And then you’ve got Taylor here, who sometimes does throw the oddities out there. And so you’ve really got to pay close attention to what’s on the field, and what to choose from. And you obviously can’t choose your own BS, so…

Right.

Yeah. But…

Amal, curious why it is that you find yourself so attracted to Adam’s definitions.

I mean, I don’t know; years of listening to Changelog, perhaps… I’ve socially conditioned my brain, I don’t know…

Okay… [It’s better!] That’s really a lot. Playing the long game.

Yeah. It’s better, exactly! Yeah. He just sounds so authoritative. What can I say…

Thank you.

But also, my request is for next time that we just totally flip the script on the rules. Made up words, made up definitions, and points go to the person who gets the most hits. You know what I mean?

So there is no – there has to be a real definition. Or you’re just saying the words are all made up?

No, there doesn’t – I mean, everything. Why does there have to be? Yeah.

What you’re saying is, when in doubt, Pareto’s Principle.

Basically, yes. That’s correct.

That was one of Adam’s definitions that you did not pick, was that one.

Yes. It was the worst. I just couldn’t come up with anything.

He couldn’t come up with anything. I knew that. So he was like “When in doubt…”, you know…

I like the idea that somebody’s law though just refers to somebody else’s law… That’s kind of a fun idea.

Well, it’s a principle.

Yeah… But I couldn’t actually get through without laughing because of the reference.

There is Hofstadter’s law, which states that software projects always fall behind, even if you take into account Hofstadter’s law.

Oh, yeah. I like that one. Self-referential… Emma, your first game of #define. You fared quite admirably… I think you ended up in second place. Excellent job.

Oh, neat-oh!

Great job.

Thank you.

What are your thoughts? What is your opinion? How do you feel?

Yeah… I would say etymology is not a gift we are all granted with, as is displayed by the – no, I’m just kidding. I will say, being too intelligent was my downfall… So if you were to have me back, I will change my definitions for the plebeians of the tech industry.

Dang…

Thank you. [laughter]

Okay, this was a lot of fun. I genuinely had no idea about any of them.

Yeah. We just need to watch some reality TV before you come on the show. That’s what needs to happen.

I do… I’m a huge Love Island fan, so I will bulk up on it.

Bulk up on Love Island. That’d be a good game plan for next time.

Yeah. That’ll take you down a few notches, just temporarily; just for the game.

That’s true.

Alright. Well, this has been round two of #define. We have a new champion, Taylor Troesh… And we have five new losers, some of which already were… And we have me, your humble host, and sometimes not so humble… Thank you for listening, thank you for playing along. If you liked this game, go back and listen to round one, where I get defeated by the humble mega flask; lols all around… And that’s a fun one as well. If you like these games in general, and you want to hear more of them, do let us know. We enjoy playing them, and if you enjoy listening to them, we will do them more often. So that’s #define, that’s Changelog & Friends. Any final words, Adam, before we just say goodbye?

Bye, friends.

Alright, bye, y’all. Thanks for hanging out.

Bye!