#define: piggyback

Hello and welcome back to #define, also known as hash-define in less sophisticated areas, or octothorpe-define, if you’re into obscure made-up words, which we certainly are. And this game is all about obscure words and what they mean… Also, what they don’t mean, as our intrepid contestants will be rewarded for lying, like skilled politicians. I’m Jerod Santo, your host on this ridiculous ride, and playing this round, it’s our returning champion, Thomas Eckert. Welcome back, Thomas.

Happy to be back, and in the graces of some more legends, and maybe a future legend in Carol.

Hmm. Speaking of Carol, she will be playing the role of the noob, a.k.a. the doctor. It’s Carol Lee, PhD. Welcome, Carol.

Thank you.

Are you excited? Are you scared?

You know what? I’m just taking it how it goes. I know Taylor’s like a chaos machine, so I’m just prepared for chaos. That’s all I’m ready for.

Chaos machine…

Taylor is a chaos machine. He’s also a winning machine. He’s previously won this game as well. So we have a few champions here. Of course, you’re referring to Taylor Troesh. What’s up, man?

Whaddup?!

How are you feeling? Are you feeling ambitious, or mischievous, or both?

I am feeling – no, I’m definitely feeling mischievous.

Okay…

I don’t want to win, I just want everyone to lose.

Okay. He just wants to see the world burn. One of those kind of guys.

Yeah, yeah.

Fair enough. Well, speaking of burning - that doesn’t even make sense… It’s Mat Ryer. Hey, Mat.

Hello. Thank you. It was a good link. Good to be here.

[laughs] Good to have you. How are you feeling today?

Good old Mat Fire. It does work, actually, if you do it like that.

Nice.

I’ve saved you.

Thank you.

I’m not feeling great, I’ll be honest. I’m jet-lagged. I’ve been in San Francisco recently, and… Yeah. And then when you come back, nothing makes sense. Like, I know what time is on the clock, but it doesn’t feel right. You sort of have a feeling of the time. I can’t feel the date.

It’s a convenient excuse. I like it.

Yeah, Mat’s already getting his excuses lined up.

Yeah. That’s why I’m going to definitely lose. No, but I will take it seriously. I’m going to try and win. I played against Thomas last time, and I don’t know, this wasn’t made clear at the beginning, but it seems like he might be educated. And I think that’s –

Which we found was an unfair advantage.

Educated people are the worst.

It’s true. Carol’s actually the most educated. Although Taylor, do you have a PhD?

I’m not a very competitive person. I’m just kind of in it to have fun, so… I feel like Taylor’s the one you have to watch out for.

I’ll tell you who you have to watch out for. It’s the man who hasn’t made a noise yet, because he’s over there, strategizing. It’s Adam Stacoviak. What’s up, Adam?

You know, I’m just thrilled to be here, on this very awesome game show… It is an incredible opportunity, and I’m feeling both excited, and I’m just being honest, just a little bit nervous today.

Right.

I can’t wait to see what happens today.

Now, Adam, if you were to get an honorary PhD based on the things you know how to do, what would your PhD be in?

Oh, great question. I would have to say a PhD in BS.

Hm… Well, that should play to your strengths in this game, shouldn’t it?

And by BS, I mean Brain Science.

Oh, Okay.

That was cute. That was cute.

That was some good BS right there.

I’m just kidding.

[00:07:48.23] Well, let me briefly describe the game, and then we will get right into it. This is the game of fake definitions. We have 10 rounds of play, or 15 points scored will win; if you can get that done prior to 10 rounds, good on you. The way it works is I will present a word, and the five of you will submit to me fake definitions of that word, unless you happen to know exactly what it means… You can submit to me the correct definition and I will award you with three points immediately. If not, fake definitions are submitted, I gather them, I read them aloud in randomized orders, and then we go around the circle and see who can guess the correct definition. If you get it right at that point, you get two points. If somebody else picks your fake definition, you get one point per person, unless it’s yourself. And we have a lot of fun along the way. Any questions before we hop into round one?

The one bit of context here is the default style of word is STEM. So science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. We also include science fiction and fantasy, just to broaden it slightly… But there are also non-STEM rounds, where any word will work, and I will let you guys know what those are as we go. But first round is a normal round, and your word for round one is cavorite. Cavorite. That’s C-A-V-O-R-I-T-E. Please submit to me your definitions now.

There are no bonus points for submitting first… But Adam will probably submit last. I have Carol… I have Thomas’s, Mat’s, and Taylor’s…

Now, Mat, what brought you to San Francisco?

Well, I have friends there…

And –

Well, don’t be so surprised by that, Thomas…

No, I’m not surprised. I’m just –

It’s a surprise, I know. It’s so weird.

[laughs] That was a bit…

Say more.

So I went to see them. That’s nice, thanks. But I went in a Waymo also, the self-driving taxi. Genuinely –

Oh. Across the ocean?

No – it was surprisingly good.

Well, where were your expectations that made it surprisingly good?

Expectations probably were high, because of Knight Rider, and the sci-fi – I sort of already expect we should have this. So I’m a bit annoyed that all cars need to have a person in them, making them do it… So this was just doing it on its own, though. It was like a ghost was driving… Except I don’t believe in ghosts. So a spirit…?

So you don’t believe in ghosts, but you do believe in spirits?

Well, anyway, it was driving itself, up the steep hills… It was like a roller coaster at times. Up the steep hills in San Francisco, and down them, and you just think hopefully it knows to stop… You know, you imagine some of the code in there “if hill, go slow on it, and stop when bottom.” I don’t know what language that is, but something like that; that’s pseudocode.

Imagine though, it just drives around. You don’t have to talk to anyone… I think it’s the future, and I wish all cars were like this now already.

I want to take this time to coin a phrase. I think we should be calling self-driving cars - we should be calling them autos.

Oooh…! That was [unintelligible 00:11:06.13]

What about just automobile?

It’s already a word.

I mean, it’s literally true.

I know, but like, it’s fell out of fashion. People don’t say auto anymore. Like, if somebody is like “Excuse me sir, would you would you like to get in my vehicle?” I’d be like “No, thanks.”

Just don’t call them automagical and I’ll be fine, okay? Let’s see what our definitions were for round one. Our word was caverite. Now, a quick disclaimer. As your humble host, it’s difficult to read some of these definitions without laughing. My laughter does not indicate a fake definition. Every once in a while, I will laugh at the real definition in order to confound you.

Question. Do you find the dictionary funny?

Sometimes…

Okay.

I’m really curious about your fake laugh at the real definition.

[00:12:00.15] Oh, you won’t know when it hits.

We’ll see.

It’s something that a caverite would do…

I’m a PhD in BS, so… You will not know. Alright, let’s read our fake definitions and our real definition to the best of our ability. I will now maximize this so, I can’t see your faces… Caverite, a type of equestrian gate between a trot and a gallop, named for its cavorting nature. That’s number one. Number two, a proprietary fixative used in dental practices to fix cavities. It was marketed with the slogan “Caverite, keeps your smile bright.” That’s a nice slogan. Number three, a style of hat made popular in the 1950s by Bridget Biscowit and the Boomtown Band. Number four, somebody who stays out late at night. Number five, when used in a sentence, it is often included with the word cave. This is due to the – [laughter] Who’s laughing?

[unintelligible 00:13:00.27] Close.

Yeah. This is due to nature of the root word, cav, or atoos, which means to be in a cave. [laughter]

That’s useful though, to have a word that means both cave, or in a cave.

Right. That means to be in a cave that is virtually impossible of collapsing. Alright, so there’s the differentiator. It’s a cave that cannot collapse. Or, number six, a fictional material that has the ability to negate the force of gravity. Those are six definitions for the word caverite. Some better than others. Let’s see what you all think. We’ll start with Carol. Which do you think is the correct definition?

I think it’s the last one.

The last one. The fictional material, that has the ability to negate the force of gravity?

Yes.

Okay. We go now to Thomas.

Hmm. I was also leaning there, but I’ve got to be careful to not trigger the pile-on song.

Yeah, it’s pretty early for a pile-on.

Yeah.

Round one pile-on. You can’t do that.

Yeah. It could be people who are out late at night… Caverite. What was the the equestrian one? Is it a type of gate that the –

Yeah. It’s between a trot and a gallop, name for its cavorting nature.

G-A-I-T.

Yes, G-A-I-T.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I thought it was literally a big fence for holding in horses.

And for the listeners, caverite is spelled favorite with a C. It’s a really dumb word. I’m already against it.

[laughs] Already against it. Alright… Thank you for that context.

Why wouldn’t it be cavorite then? Cavorite, not caverite.

It’s not Taylor’s caverite…

It’s not my caverite word.

Your favorite caverite?

Thomas?

I’m going to say it’s a person who stays out late at night.

Okay.

That’s number two?

That’s number four. Number two was the fixative using dental practices. Alright, we go now to Mat. Which do you think is the correct definition?

I was swung by – I was interested in the same answers, the same options as Thomas.

Okay. So four and six.

But then I learned that gates meant way to walk…

And it changed everything for you.

Yeah. That made me think it’s even more that. That sounds even more like something. But there’s also something… Yeah, I don’t know. I think I’m going to go with the last one. It won’t be a pile-on, as we know, but I’m going to go with the fictional thing.

Mat goes with the fictional thing.

Carol’s got a PhD, so…

Now let’s go to Taylor.

You don’t have to get a PhD if you just copy what someone else with a PhD does.

My PhD is in psychology, for the record, so…

I gave everyone a master’s degree last time.

That’s true.

That’s true. I forgot to use mine, actually…

Unfortunately, I defenestrated mine.

[00:15:57.13] You defenestrated yours, yeah.

Yeah. Well… I didn’t like it. Taylor, which are you going to go with?

Bridgerton Boom Boom.

[laughs] Okay. That’s number three, the style of hat made popular by Bridgerton Boom Boom…

I believe it was the Boom Band, actually.

Adam, it’s your turn to guess, sir.

Can I hear number five again, please?

[laughs] Do I have to?

Yes…

I just want to know what it says.

Oh. When used in a sentence, it is often included with the word cave. [laughs]

It’s included with it. I’ve never heard… You’re saying you have to –

[unintelligible 00:16:36.15]

It’s like, you say “Cave, caverite, cave.” [laughs] Do you want me to read the rest of that?

Also, why do you need the word “cave” if that means that as well?

Well, it’s a cave impossible of collapsing. So it’s a caverite cave.

Yes. The whole definition, please.

Do you want to go with that one?

No. [laughter]

He wants to hear the whole definition.

Oh, you want to hear the whole thing.

Yes, please.

Ah, this is due to the nature of the root word, cav or atus, which means to be in a cave that is virtually impossible of collapsing.

Let’s go with that one.

Okay. [laughs]

It’s a very good fake if that’s not real, isn’t it?

Adam picks that one.

It’s excellent.

Well, let’s start right there. Adam thinks caverite means…

Read the definition.

…when used in a sentence, it’s often used with the word cave. I don’t know, he wrote it himself. That’s your own one.

So you both made me read it, and then you selected it, and you get zero points.

It’s just too good. It’s just too good.

I don’t understand the logic to that one.

Well, you should have pride in your work, so we’ll give that to him.

He tricked himself.

Yeah, it was just one of those things.

Okay.

It was, wasn’t it?

That one’s for the show.

Thomas thought maybe caverite meant somebody who stays out at night. Taylor wrote that one, so one point for Taylor.

Nice one, Taylor.

And Taylor thought it was the Bridgerton hat, but that one was Mat’s, so one point for Mat.

Boomtown Band.

Boomtown Band. Classic.

That was a good one. That was a very good one.

How do you pronounce that word, Bridget Biscowit?

I don’t know, I just put in loads of letters and left it for you to worry about.

You’re making my job harder over here.

Yup…

And then almost a pile on, but not quite. Carol and Mat both went with a fictional material that has the ability to negate the force of gravity. That is caverite. First depicted by HG Wells in his 1901 scientific romance, The First Men in the Moon.

So Carol and Mat both scored two points there, giving Mat three for the round. Carol, two. Taylor, one. Adam and Thomas with zero. I also scored zero. I did not mention that caveat… If nobody picks the correct definition, I score three points for the round, which - I’m at zero. And so after round one, Mat in first with three, Carol with two, Yaylor with one. We move now to round two. This is a non-STEM round, so broaden your horizons. And your word for round two is gallimaufry. That’s spelled G-A-L-L-I-M-A-U-F-R-Y. Gallimaufry.

F-R-Y?

F-R-Y.

Not P-H-R-E-Y?

Correct.

I have no idea of that.

[laughs]

If it was PH, would you have an idea?

That F really rocked your world, Taylor.

Yeah, dude…

Alright. Well, please submit your fake definitions now.

I wish those letters were all different letters. Then I’d have an idea what this word meant.

Not to make everyone self-conscious, but I really enjoy… I know I said this earlier, but I like everyone’s thinking faces… And like what you look like when you’re thinking… And Taylor always looks so concerned.

He does.

He’s really sweet.

Yeah. He furls his brow.

Yeah. [laughs] Like, it’s going to be okay, Taylor… You got it.

[00:20:01.08] Yeah… I get in trouble at home. My wife’s like “We’re gonna have to pay for Botox if you keep on doing that.” Because I just do it all day. I’m just like…

Resting furl face.

Yeah. But it has like a tinge of sadness to it, strangely.

It does.

Yeah. Like, you don’t look angry. Mat kind of looks angry.

Yeah. I am.

Yeah, I would say like maybe downtrodden. That’s how you look.

Yeah. Whereas Taylor, you kind of look like – I don’t know, writing sad things in your diary. Sad and deep things.

Maybe he’s just really upset with his definitions.

Yeah, that is true. I’m very, very upset with this definition. Oh, actually, I’ve got a good one now.

Now, Carol, what is your PhD in?

Clinical psychology.

Okay, so that’s why you’re looking at everyone’s face.

Oh, yeah. It’s what I do, I just look at people’s faces.

Don’t we have to accept cookies or something before you’re allowed to do that? [laughter]

That was pretty good.

It’s like special skills. I used to think that on Star Trek, there’s a character called Deanna Troi, and she would just read the emotions and stuff ,and just tell it –

She would.

Which is like “What are you doing? You can’t do that. That’s really, really invasive.”

Really invasive, yeah.

Yeah. Weird.

Could she actually read minds?

No, just like feelings, and that.

She would just say like if he’s lying, or if he’s mad, or whatever.

She’d be like “Captain, he’s going to blow our faces off?” And you’re like “Deanna, that’s his personal…” If I was Captain Picard, I’d be like “Deanna, don’t invade his personal thoughts!”

[laughs] That’s a really good point.

So yeah, but that’s it. I run a different kind of ship to Captain Picard, I guess…

What kind of a ship do you run?

It’d have good morals, but I don’t think it would be around for long, you know…

Unprecedented. Adam has submitted prior to somebody else.

Wow. Congrats, mate.

Unless - Taylor, did you submit yours? I didn’t see it.

No, no, I’m doing it.

Okay. Because you said you were disappointed in –

Watch his face. He’s still –

Yeah, yeah, he still looks concerned. He’s obviously thinking. Come on.

Now he’s going to be self-conscious because we’re all staring at his face.

I know. I’m sorry, Taylor. I’m sorry.

Dude, no. It’s the meta game.

He’s playing the meta game. Yeah. The meta game is the best game.

Yeah. Thomas just kind of looks chronically cheerful, I’m not going to lie.

Oh, sorry.

No, it’s very sweet.

Oh, okay.

You don’t have to apologize for looking cheerful…

Yeah, it’s a good thing. You’re so happy about your thinking.

I like thinking.

Thomas looks low-res to me. Thomas, are you feeling alright? You look low-res.

I feel a little low-res today. I got not a great sleep, and I feel maybe I’m getting sick. But I’m in the denial phase, so…

Yeah, it’s the different phases of being sick, yeah.

I’m in the denial phase until… Suddenly, I’m not. I’m like “It’s allergies, it’s allergies.”

Alright, here comes Taylor’s.

Your leg’s off. “It’s allergies…” [laughter]

Oh, boy… Okay, we now have all of our definitions for round two. This is a non-STEM word. Gallimaufry. Gallimaufry. Hard to say. Easy to define for Carol. She actually knew the definition of this one, so she sits this round out. She scores three points right off the bat, really moving herself into the lead… So you guys are playing catch up with Dr. Newb over there. Who should we read first? Let’s read this one first. Gallimaufry - the back section of a Roman cathedral where communion is prepared.

Where what is prepared?

Communion.

That’s not that one then.

I heard comedian. I was really confused.

No, they used to do stand-up before mass. It’s like “Before we get to eating the cracker and having the thing… Yeah, here’s our Roman stand-up.”

[00:23:55.27] Number two. A dish made from a mixture of leftover food, especially meat and veggies. Number three - a concerned, pensive, downtrodden, forlorn face, that is bound to need Botox injections. Which some people are very, very self-conscious of… Carol, you meanie. [laughter]

I think that was the real definition.

[unintelligible 00:24:16.19]

That’s why Carol knew it.

Yeah.

Number four - an originally Shakespearean character whose only purpose is to make another character trip or fall. And number five, a roofing material derived from aluminum.

Did you say roofie or roofing?

A roofing material derived from aluminum.

Roofie…

There are your five definitions. Yeah, roofie material would be something entirely different. We will start with Thomas. You only have five to pick from, so it should be easier.

Yeah, I’m leaning towards the Shakespearean fall character. That seems like something that would show up in Shakespeare.

Okay.

Yeah. It sounds like one of those funny English words from England, where they make up all kinds of things.

Right.

Yeah.

Alright. Mat, what do you think?

I don’t remember any of them.

Okay… I can reread some.

If you just give me a one-word…

Yeah, a one-word summary of each.

Yeah. If you were ChatGPT, what would you –

It’s a good challenge. Number one was communion.

Oh, yeah.

Number two was leftover. Number three would be forlorn.

Forlorn face.

Number four would be Shakespearean…

Yup.

And number five would be aluminum.

Oh, I’m curious that you’re saying aluminum. And that’s hard for me to hear in an American accent. So I’ll probably go for that one for that reason, and I think that’s sound logic there, that play.

Alright, fair enough.

I’ve got a BS in logic.

Mat picks aluminum.

Yeah.

We move now to Taylor, who has a concerned, pensive, downtrodden, forlorn face as he tries to select –

Gallimaufry face, yeah.

He’s quite gallimaufric, some might say…

Ooh. That’s with the leather. [laughter]

It’s a family podcast…

Give me Shakespeare, brah.

Shakespeare it is.

“Shakespeare, brah.”

We’re one away from a pile-on here on Shakespeare… And then we go to Adam.

Can I hear two different definitions again, please? Number two and I think number four…

Number two is a dish made from a mixture of leftover food, especially meat and vegetables. Number four was an originally Shakespearean character whose only purpose is to make another character trip or fall. What are you thinking?

I’m thinking leftovers. Can’t pile on. Anti pile-on.

No pile on. Adam goes for the leftovers.

He’s got anti-pile cream. He’s got anti-pile cream on himself.

I’ve been lubing up with it.

Okay… [laughs]

Family podcast.

So when I jump on the pile, I slip right off.

Yeah. No, I like this, because there’s two people on this podcast that have said worse things than I’ve said.

It’s a rare occasion.

And that makes me feel really safe.

We usually edit you pretty harshly.

I’m feeling pretty good. Yeah. You need that in jet lag. You sort of need a cuddle, don’t you? You need more of a cuddle. Someone to put their arms around you and just be like “Don’t worry. You’re just jet-lagged.”

Only if they’re moisturized.

Yeah.

Well, moving on… Let’s start right where Adam left off. Not with the moisturizer, but with a dish made from a mixture of leftover food, especially meat and vegetables. That’s also known as a hodgepodge, or a hash, or a ragout, or a gallimaufry. That is correct, Adam.

Wow. I felt that was a bluff because of the fry at the end. The F-R-Y.

Hm… Like French fries?

No. Fry, like, you fry food, or you know…

Stir fry.

Like a stir fry, yeah. A gallimaufry.

Oh, like you fry the gallimauf. Got it, got it.

[00:27:59.18] Yeah, exactly.

So Adam scores two points. Good job, dude. Got the correct answer there. Mat was tricked by aluminum, and Adam wrote aluminum. Did I read it correctly for you?

For me?

Did you spell it like that on purpose, or did you luck into it? Because that is the British English –

That’s how I know how to spell it, okay? …because of Johnny Ive.

Yeah. Like, correct.

I only know how to spell aluminum because of Johnny Ive.

Okay, so you’ve been influenced by Johnny Ive. Makes sense. Well, it tricked Mat into picking it, so now you’ve got three points for the round.

But I forgive him immediately because of the aluminum correctness. Adam, you’re always welcome in our country.

Thank you. Thank you.

And there was a mini pile-on onto Shakespeare, this character who makes another character trip or fall. And that was Shakespearean Mat being Shakespearean himself.

Oh, you cheeky bastard.

Two points for Mat…

Should have noticed the beard. A little Shakespearean beard…

It is very… Yeah, you kind of have a Shakespeare thing going on.

You do have a Shakespeare thing going on.

It’s kind of Dogtanyan style.

Like Dan-Tan?

Dan-Tan…!

Dan-Tan! Coming this summer.

Carol has no idea what we’re talking about.

What is happening…?

Sorry. Dan-Tan’s a callback joke. That’s, uh…

I’m curious… Question for Carol. How did you know this word? How did you come across this word in your life?

I really like random books about [unintelligible 00:29:20.11] random Victorian times… And sometimes weird sh** comes up, and then you’ve got to look up the word.

Sounds like a PhD thing, dude.

It is not a PhD thing.

Books…

Oh, books. So gross.

We didn’t know that you read…

She did admit when she was on the show that she doesn’t read many books.

I don’t read a lot of psychology books.

Psychology books.

Yeah.

Okay.

She reads a lot of mishmash jumbles, or gallimaufrys.

Yeah, [unintelligible 00:29:42.01] mishmash jumble of things.

I’m all romance novels, me.

I can see that. I can see that.

You write romance novels?

No…

Do you use a pen name?

Yeah.

He, uh, stars in them.

Mat Friar.

I star in them. It’s just me in the book.

[laughs] Another great day for old Mat Friar. Tyler, I like the way earlier you said – sorry, was it Taylor? Taylor, sorry. What did I say.

You’ve given him a forlorn look on his face.

I know…

Oh dear.

You meanie.

We have to be careful what we say to you. Like looking after a Tamagotchi now at this point. [laughter]

A Tamagotchi…

Tamagotchi Taylor.

Tamagotchi Taylor.

Yeah. You’ve got to like give him some food. No, but I was going to say, earlier you were like – how did you say it when you chose the Shakespeare one? It sounded like a kind of cool high school kid.

Shakespeare, brah.

Yeah, he said “Shakespeare, brah.”

Yeah. It just sounded cool, like you’re at the end of your rope at school, you’re about to get kicked out, and a kindly teacher just somehow gets through to you, and it’s a touching story.

Yeah. Yeah. That’s exactly how it feels.

And then he becomes like a Shakespearean scholar.

There you go. And that’s it.

Romeo and Julian, right? I love that book.

Oh, yeah. You’ve modernized it.

Modern? Nah, dude. I read it in the original Latin.

[laughs] Take that, Mat! Well, Taylor has to do stuff like that, as he’s in the rear here… One point so far, through two rounds…

Wow.

He’s only beating Thomas and myself, who are literally –

Yeah, I think I’m in the rear.

…in the cellar. Well, you know, there’s the caboose, and then there’s the rear. I don’t know, these things are close together. In the middles, Adam with three, probably feeling pretty good about his three-point round… And Mat and Carol tied, with five after two rounds. We move now to round three.

Break: [00:31:38.20]

And your word for round three is bunyip. Bunyip. That’s B-U-N-Y-I-P.

No…

[laughs] Yes.

We’re back to STEM. This is STEM. Is it?

Correct. This is a regular round. Carol Lee is already typing, so she might know this one… [laughs]

From one of her random books.

Sorry, guys, I don’t want to scare you, but she’s already submitting. Pretty fast for a fake definition.

Maybe I just think of fake things really quickly. Or I like to draft a lot, and then choose the right one.

Oh, so you like pre-write a bunch of definitions and then select. That’s a strategy. There you go. Oh, no. Not in the group DM, Taylor.

That was a fake one.

Oh, okay.

That was just for you guys.

Taylor is now hiding, so we don’t look at his face while he thinks.

That’s how you know he’s in ultra forlorn mode.

Yeah…

It’s like playing poker, ain’t it?

It’s like when your Tamagotchi is at the brink of death.

But look how happy Thomas looks while he’s thinking. He’s got like a little smile on his face. It’s so cute. I can’t handle it. [laughter]

Thinking about stuff, just walking around…

Thomas is like “Hmm… I wonder what this is.” That’s precious.

Look at Taylor. I think he’s having a seizure. He’s convulsing down there. [laughter] Oh, man… Now I’m just imagining each of you has different Tamagotchi characters. It’s very odd. Thomas is just really easy to take care of…

I didn’t know there were Tamagotchi characters. I thought it was just like the little thing. Yeah. Isn’t it just like a little blob?

It’s a little pet. It’s a little digital pet, right?

Do they look different?

I feel like they had –

I just thought they were –

Were they all the same thing?

I’m gonna look it up.

I know that they had different personalities, right? Certain ones would need to eat more, other ones would sleep more…

Oh, they do have different…

Yeah, I feel like the people had –

Is that new?

I didn’t know there was new Tamagotchis. I just figured it was a 1990s thing.

Someone told me that Tamagotchi is back. I don’t know if that’s true.

Oh.

But I’m pretty sure they’re back.

That would make sense. Everything comes back, eventually.

I feel like it could just be like an app now.

Yeah.

The fact that it’s like its own separate thing is kind of cool. Retro.

It’d be cool if you could have yourself as a little Tamagotchi to look after though, ain’t it? Like, I could have a little Jerod, and I’ve got to like feed him, clean up after him…

Oh. Not yourself, but other people. So you want to –

Well, that’s yourself, isn’t it, Jerod?

You want Jerod to have a Jerod, or you want yourself to have a Jerod? I mean, both are creepy.

I wanna a little Jerod.

He wants to have a little Jerod as his pet.

Yeah. No, Jerod having himself would be sad. Me having a little Jerod to look after, I think is –

Also sad.

…lovely.

Yeah. Sad for whom?

That’s especially brutal coming from an actual doctor in this stuff, truth be told.

I’m sorry.

Yeah. It somehow hits harder.

I’m not gonna lie, the Tamagotchi characters are not that cute.

Well, they were just like little pixels, weren’t they?

Yeah.

Can I have a prescription to do something cool? I’ve got to get cool [unintelligible 00:38:06.10]

You could adopt a little Jerod.

Just wear shades… Just wear shades at work.

Oh, sorry, it’s not that you’re not uncool, it’s that you’re sad. Those are different, Mat.

Oh, what’s the opposite?

But you’re also uncool. Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, right. Yeah. We’ll deal with that one.

They come together. They come together.

Shots fired.

I just found out my mom’s been lying to me for a long time. She’s been telling me that I’m cool, but she’s been telling other people that I’m lame. This is a…

Really?

Yeah, dude. This is a crisis. Recent crisis.

Who’s she been telling this to?

Dude, she went on the news. She announced it in front of the public.

Yeah. I saw that.

They just have a section of the news called like –

Mom Thoughts?

Who’s lame, who’s cool…

…Diss on Your Kid… [laughter]

“And now, to our mom correspondent…”

Yeah. Well, maybe she just had to set the record straight. I mean, did she ask you to watch that particular program? Has anybody else submitted definitions? I have Thomas’s, and Carol’s is correct, so she’s going to score more points again. But…

Wow, Carol. Do you get more points for getting it right?

You get three instead of two.

Yeah. If it makes you feel any better, Taylor, my mom told me my middle name was Sarah, and then when I got married, my birth certificate just had the letter J. And I was like “Who’s Carol J. Lee?” It was just the letter. And she was like “They messed it up… Never bothered fixing it.” So my middle name is just a random letter.

Dude, that’s so cool.

I know. It was very confusing when I was – I was like “I don’t even know if you’re marrying the right person, Zach. I’m so sorry.”

It’s like you’re destined to write a book now.

“Finding Carol J. Lee.”

J. Lee, yeah. Not to one-up you, but my mom named me Trailer Trash, dude… [laughter]

Oh, that is a one-upper, if I ever say one…

Dude, she had no clue.

Is that what she said on the news?

No, no, no. That was like when I was in like elementary school. I was like “Hey, mom, why’d you name me Trailer Trash?” She’s like “Oh, I could see how people would see that.”

She didn’t see that coming, huh?

[00:40:17.24] I didn’t put those two together until just now.

I feel like I did, but also I feel like it might have been the first thing you ever said to me, Taylor, was that.

Was “Hi, I’m Trailer Trash”?

No, I think I was interviewing you for the show and we were talking about your name, or something. Maybe it was prior to the show starting. Hopefully it wasn’t on the air. But you were like “Yeah, Trailer Trash.” I was “Okay…” [laughs] I wasn’t going to say it, but you said it…

There you go. Gotta clear the air.

And I think you had more of the look back then as well, didn’t you? Do you still have the look?

Oh, yeah, I had the mullet.

Yeah.

You had the mullet with the rat tail. You had the rat tail.

There’s no mullet, but do you have the rat tail?

No rat tail right now. This weekend I actually had a mustache goatee thing. I was trying to look like somebody that would tie somebody to train tracks. And I successfully did it, [unintelligible 00:41:08.18] I did a song at a conference, and wanted to look like a villainous creature.

Alright, now I have all definitions…

I was explaining to someone how I knew you, and I was like “I met him at a conference. He had a hair tie. He had a fanny pack full of babies.” And they were like “What does this person look like?” And I pulled up your picture, just from the internet… It was like you with the mullet, and the glasses… And they were like “This person looks like they would have a fanny pack of babies.” And I was like “Yeah.”

A fanny pack of babies. That doesn’t seem like you could carry a lot of babies. Are they very small –

You’d be surprised.

Oh, they’re very small little plastic babies, and you slip them in people’s pockets when nobody’s looking.

Adam, didn’t you take one of those home on the finger?

I was really sad, because I wanted to get my finger out, my finger hand…

The finger baby?

I have a mini finger hand, and a mini-mini finger hand.

[unintelligible 00:42:03.14] from Taylor.

Yes. And I will tell you where they’re at. At least one of them I know where it’s at. Do you want to know where it’s at?

No… The local dump?

Questionable…

It’s in the shower.

[laughs] Wait a second. What…?!

I thought we were going there… The mini-mini one, right?

No, the mini one is in the shower. The mini-mini one is lost.

Does it help you scratch your back, or something? I don’t understand.

You know, my boys, they shower in our shower, because it’s just easier, you know… And so they take things in there, and somehow they get left in there, and that’s one of them. There’s two monster trucks in there, and a mini finger hand.

A PS5… A Switch… “Who’s left their Switch in here?”

Kids…

Alright, we have all definitions for round three. Carol, correct again. Three points. She’ll be sitting this round out.

Two rounds in a row, from the newb to the master. Perhaps we will see if this continues. Here we have five definitions of the word bunyip.

Number one, a mythical creature from Australian mythology said to lurk in swamps and rivers. Number two, the evolved ancestor of a bunny, which is the affectionate and informal name of a rabbit. Number three, a rocky enclave of a brook.

Number four, a misshapen egg or an egg that looks atypical. And number five, contractions of the core diaphragm in hares, similar to hiccups in humans. So there’s five definitions of the word bunyip. Lots of rabbit connections there. And many of them. We will start with Mat. Bunyip.

Bunyip. Well, I was trying to read Carol… I knew that Carol knew the answer.

Hm. Metagame.

Yup. And got nothing. Couldn’t tell you from any of them.

Okay.

That’s what they train you to do. Clinical psychology.

Yeah, that’s what they want me to think.

I was doing the same thing. She just looked like a stone-faced Tamagotchi. Yeah.

Nothing to read. The J stands for mystery.

Dude, you have the same middle name as Sarah J. Moss. Did you realize that?

[00:44:18.06] I do now. What does the J stand for in Sarah J. Moss?

J, dude.

Just J.

The programming language.

Oh, yeah. Mat, what are you thinking over there?

I’m going to go for the mythological one. The mythological one. Hey, last time I did this, being silly, they cut it out, thinking I was accidentally… I was going like [00:44:42.05] And the editor’s like “Oh, we’ll cut that out, because he’s obviously made a little mistake…” But it was hilarious.

Well, we can’t tell when you’re being real or not real with your mistakes. I mean, imagine you couldn’t pronounce a word and then we left it in. The embarrassment.

That’s what you do anyway. I’m British.

True. Moving to Taylor. Which of these definitions do you think is bunyip?

I think it was the mythological one. Brook… River? River brook.

A rocky enclave of a brook…

That sounds… Can’t get anything from Stonewall Carol over there.

Yeah, Stoneface Carol.

What were the other ones? Give me give me the one word reviews…

Alright, so number two was the evolved ancestor of a bunny. Number four was a misshapen egg. And number five was the contractions of the core diaphragm in hares; in bunnies, in rabbits. Because a hair doesn’t have a diaphragm.

H-A-I-R. Just closing that loop. What are you thinking, Taylor?

I don’t know much about hair…

I am thinking – my heart is telling me…

Tell us about your heart.

Eggs, dude. We’ve gotta [unintelligible 00:45:52.10]

Eggs, dude. So far from Taylor we have “Shakespeare, brah” and “Eggs, dude.” I’m liking these answers. Alright, a misshapen egg. Alright. Taylor is on eggs. Adam, where were you going to land?

I’m following Mat, because he’s got the second most points, and he wrote the song Pile-on.

Hm. And you Taylor and Thomas are bad. These are our former champs.

Thomas hasn’t gone – you haven’t gone yet, have you, Thomas?

No, he hasn’t.

I thought that was the case.

Just in general, I said you’re following the leaders…

Yeah, I’m following wisdom here… Or, wisdom… The aluminum wisdom. So whatever he chose. I don’t even know which one he chose.

He chose the mythological creature. Australian myth.

Sounds Australian.

One more and it’s a pile-on. Well, there’s only one more left. It’s Thomas. Are you gonna pile on?

That’s a pile-on.

Is it a pile-on?

It’s a pile-on… I’m feeling it…

Alright. Now, should we play the pile-on jingle, or should we have Mat write a new one real quick?

Write a new one.

How about we have the live version? Give us the live version.

Mat, how about a pile-on jingle? Can you give us that?

Even better.

Did you bring your guitar?

I’ve got my guitar here. This one’s real.

Pile-on song part three.

That one’s a Zoom background.

Maybe put a little bit of a – some hare in it. A.k.a. bunny rabbit.

Yeah. Give it a little bunny flavor.

Yeah. Any other requests?

Eggs…

Make it fluffy… Yeah, with some eggs.

Can you do Australian accent? Because we have…

Australian [unintelligible 00:47:21.27] bunny fluff.

And if you can have the letter J in there…

In an Australian accent. Cool. Anything else?

We don’t want to put too many constraints on you.

Oh no, please. [laughter] What constraints? Do it in an Australian accent, and make it about eggs and hares… [laughter]

It’s pretty straightforward.

No hoppy tune, by the way, you know…

How does an Australian say hare?

We’re about to find out, mate…

[00:47:49.24] You’re saying hare, I’m saying eggs…

I wish we were saying the all the same things again, but…

I don’t know, mate… I guess it’s not to be…

Oh wait a minute, you’re changing your answer to be the same…

We got a Py-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-le-on. Mate.

We got a Py-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-le-on, mate.

We’ve got a Py-yi-le-on, mate…

We got a pile-on, mate… And I’ve got a fanny pack of babies…

[laughs]

That was really good.

Well, thank you very much. Yeah.

Mat, now that Oasis is getting back together, are you going to join them?

Yeah, we’re trying to get a support act, but so far they’ve not replied.

Did you see his face?

I’m very excited about Oasis getting back together.

He was. He was excited.

Oh, gosh… It’s a wonder wall.

Alright, let’s go to our results of the pile-on. We had three out of the four guessing the mythical creature from Australian mythology. Carol, is that right?

Yeah.

That’s right. Carol knew that that was a bunyip. It’s said to lurk in swamps and rivers. So Mat, Adam and Thomas each score two points. Taylor voted for the misshapen egg, dude. And that egg was Mat’s egg, dude. So Mat gets a bonus point for tricking Taylor into selecting his definition. That’s three for Mat. That’s three for Carol.

I hope that’s okay.

Wait, it’s not an egg?

No. I just made that up.

Oh. Shoot, dude.

“I just made that up.” [laughs] Now, Carol couldn’t remember what the monster looks like… So maybe it is an egg-shaped monster. I don’t know.

That’s true. My definition said “Australian folk monster”, but I don’t know what it looks like. It could look like an egg.

And I’ve never seen one myself, so…

Again, I have to ask, where have you encountered bunyip?

Okay, I read a lot as a kid, also as a child…

Alright, alright…

And there was a book of folk monsters around the world.

You just remembered it from your childhood?

Yeah.

That’s a deep recall.

It’s kind of like a fun one, you know? It’s a fun name.

Bunyip. I thought it was a fun word… Which is why I selected it.

I mean, there’s a reason why I don’t remember what it looks like. I don’t know.

We all need to read more, so…

This is like Slumdog Millionaire, where Carol’s got these backstories [unintelligible 00:50:22.25]

Yeah, I know… But you’re going to ask like a techie question and I’m going to be like “I don’t know…”

Yeah. Or a clinical psychology word comes up.

Well, we move now to round four. Of course, between Carol’s correct answers and Mat tricking everybody, those two are tied still at first place with eight. So she’s not running away with it.

It’s a battle between good and evil.

It is, yeah.

It’s a battle between knowledge and misinformation played out right here.

Right.

Isn’t it? And I’m on the wrong side of history.

I think that means you’re going to win. Damn.

And I was going to say, we always know which one wins in the end…

That’s a British [unintelligible 00:50:51.16]

Aw, sad… [laughs]

Let’s move to round four. This round is called Give It a Goog. Give It a Goog.

Oh, gosh…

This is an abnormal round. Now, I went to google.com… Have you heard of it? And I opened it in an incognito window, and I began to type something, and I stopped. And Google dutifully recommended me some autocompletes. I took the top autocomplete and I wrote it down. Your job in this round, Give It a Goog, is to write your own top autocomplete for this phrase, and we will select which one we think is the real autocomplete.

The phrase I typed into google.com was “Why don’t we.” “Why don’t we”, and then I stopped, and I wrote down that top autocomplete. Now, do not go out to Google and try this for yourself. That would be…

Immoral.

Yeah.

[00:51:52.28] Yeah.

That’d be on the dark side, for sure. But go ahead and tell me what you think is the top autocomplete, and we can see which one’s correct. I have Mat’s…

Now I’m wondering if like my thinking face is adequately joyful… I think there’s a little bit more demure there.

Don’t think about it too much. I’m sure it’s fine.

Alright.

It still looks low-res to me. Have you had a Tylenol?

I need a Tylenol… I was going to take one before the show, but I…

Get one.

I’m in a neighbor’s house. You might have missed it, but I’m in a neighbor’s house, because they’re testing the fire alarms in my apartment today.

Oh.

They work.

They’re just going around setting fires?

Yes.

They’re just setting a little fire and see

No, they’ve got a guy who’s smoking. He just walks around smoking all day.

Ah, he’s cool. He looks cool, but…

He looks cool, but it’s really… Not cool.

Is it not?

Not in the –

Yeah, set a good example.

Yeah. It’s a family show. Smoking kills.

Especially if it’s you that’s on fire, that’s making the smoke.

That’s true. Yeah.

That can be really dangerous. So do be careful if you’re doing that.

I have Carol’s Goog.

Thomas, I think I can detect your submissions in this game now, because of the way you write it. So I think Thomas has a tell now. So I’d like to play an additional game, where I –

Does he look extra happy? What is the tell?

Yeah, what is the tell?

It’s in the definition itself.

Yeah, say more.

It just has a feeling. It just sounds like Thomas would say it.

It’s a vibe? It’s a vibe check.

It’s a vibe, yeah.

She’s using that phrase, Jerod. Say more.

I know. I use it a lot. A classic therapy technique. Looking at faces and saying “Say more.”

And how does identifying my tell make you feel?

It makes me feel pretty powerful, Thomas. Thank you for asking. [laughs]

Are you sure she’s on the good side or the evil side?

Gosh…

She’s on her own side.

We are outnumbered here.

That was sinister. I liked it. Okay, we have them all. Why don’t we give it a Goog? Oh, we did. And we were playing around. As a result, when we tried to autocomplete the phrase “Why don’t we”, here are six possible top autocompletes. Number one, “Why don’t we live on Mars?” Number two, “Why don’t we drugs legal?” Number three, “Why don’t we print more money?” Number four, “Why don’t we eat turkey eggs?” Number five, “Why don’t we destroy the moon once and for all?” [laughs] Sorry. Number six. Just the way I said that was… “Once and for all…” “Why don’t we see dead people?” That’s number six. So we have six potential autocompletes. Taylor, which one do you think is the real one?

Eggs!

Wow, you’re very excited about eggs.

Something’s up with him and eggs.

Yeah. Almost blew your mic out.

Bunyip, dude.

Alright, Taylor picks eggs. Emphatically. Adam picks…

I can’t choose. Is somebody trying to blow up the Moon?

Once and for all…

Once and for all. That’s the key piece here.

It’s like, we’ve tried… Yeah, it’s like we’ve tried and it keeps coming back.

Oh, of course we’ve tried…

We’re like “Ah, pesky Moon… Not again…”

We’ve tried everything. At least once.

We’re just tired of all the tides…

Well, actually, once and for all kind of implies that we did do it once, but it came back, you know? It’s like, we blew it up, but it wasn’t once and for all. It was kind of like…

Michael Collins knew the truth…

Does that make any sense though, once and for all? Because that would imply you didn’t do it before. You’ve only done it once, and for all.

No, we want to do it once and for all. We did it, but it wasn’t once and for all.

It’s twice then. He’s got a point.

I really wish we could do this once, and for all.

I think we should do it twice and for some.

It would have to be like “Let’s do it one more time and for all”, or something.

Yeah. Okay. Once more, and for all.

One last time, and everybody can partake.

But people aren’t known for being accurate when they’re Google searching, so…

True.

Jerod, would you be opposed to reading them all again?

These are quick. I can read them all. For you?

Yeah, please.

[00:56:09.14] Alright. Number one was “Why don’t we live on Mars?” Number two, “Why don’t we drugs legal?” Number three, “Why don’t we print more money?” Number four, “Why don’t we eat turkey eggs?” Number five, “Why don’t we destroy the moon once and for all?” Number six, “Why don’t we see dead people?”

So many good choices here. Is that you, Thomas, drugs legal?

No. No, that’s not –

Is that subliminal messaging? I think it was subliminal messaging.

No, I was just looking at it.

Taylor’s pretty excited about the eggs, though.

It’s my vibe.

You were wrong with the eggs before… You were wrong with the eggs before…

He was way off.

You might be good about eggs this time, Taylor.

No, I wasn’t. I use that word every single day, and it’s correct usage, dude.

What, bunyip?

Yeah.

It’s just a local usage of the word, yeah.

Maybe it’s like an actual product, from where he’s from.

Every day? Use it in a sentence then. Give it to me.

Oh, oh, I cracked a bunyip.

It sounds like something on your foot.

Okay, fine. I won’t follow you then. You make no sense. Let’s go with money.

Alright. Adam wants to go with money. Print mo money. Alright, next up. Carol.

Money, dude.

I’m actually going to go with eggs, because I am kind of wondering, why don’t we eat turkey eggs? So…

Who says we don’t?

I guess I don’t. So why don’t we commonly. Maybe more accurately it would be like “Why don’t we commonly eat turkey eggs?”

Alright, Carol goes for eggs. We are one away from a pile-on.

We do eat turkey though.

We do eat turkey, Adam. That is correct.

Haven’t they given us enough?

Never…

Turkeys are not like chickens. They don’t do the whole – whatever the process is to produce an egg that is a yolk, maybe; not a turkey in there.

Ovulation?

Is that what happens? Is it ovulation?

Are you trying to say that chickens don’t lay eggs?

No, he’s saying turkeys don’t lay eggs.

I think – well…

Oh, okay. Okay.

No, I think they do. I just wonder if like chickens…

I’m pretty sure turkeys lay eggs…

…chickens lay eggs that don’t have chickens in them.

Mm-hm… Yes…?

Okay…

And so we eat the ones that don’t have chicken – they’re just the yolk. It’s a premenopause, or something. I don’t know. I’m just trying to figure out a word that’s like –

Premenopause? Alright. You’re done.

Chicken menstruation, correct.

Yes. Exactly. It’s something like that, right? Evolution.

Yeah. Premenopause chickens.

And so are you saying like turkeys are born, like in menopause, or…?

No, I’m thinking that maybe just turkeys don’t do what chickens do.

Alright, let’s not answer the question.

Every egg is a winner, okay?

Right!

Let’s answer this question. Which goog is it? Somebody fact-check Adam while he’s answering, because he just spat some real interesting science. It’s Adam’s turn still. Oh, no, you picked – I’m sorry, you picked print more money.

Yeah.

My bad. You were just talking… It’s actually your turn, Carol.

I already chose one. I chose the turkey egg thing, because I was like –

Well, then what’s going on with me? It’s Thomas’s turn.

I don’t know. It’s probably Thomas’ or Mat’s turn.

It’s Thomas.

It is my turn. Live on Mars… Was it live on Mars? What was the phrasing there?

Yeah. Live on Mars.

Why don’t we live on Mars?

Right.

I just feel like people would be googling that. “Why don’t we live on Mars yet?” “Drugs legal”, kind of the mess up of the… I don’t know, print more money. I mean, I feel like people do ask that all the time, every day.

Print money or drugs legal?

Drugs legal and print money… That’d be great. They go well together.

They do go hand in hand.

Mm-hm. I think I’m going to ask “Why don’t we live on Mars?” Why don’t we live on Mars? It’s there… It’s not that far… Let’s get over there.

The Moon’s closer.

I’m pretty sure they don’t have oxygen.

But we want to get rid of the Moon, once and for all.

Well, that’s because it’s in the way. Once you get rid of the Moon, it’s a straight shot to Mars.

[laughs]

[00:59:54.08] I think David Bowie - didn’t he? He lived some life on Mars, didn’t he? Mat, it’s your turn. What are you thinking?

Okay. Hang on a minute. So you did it in incognito mode…

Correct.

And this is so that your previous search history didn’t influence it.

It’s not influenced by my personal interests.

But they do it on IP still. So what sort of – tell me about the area you live in. Where do you live, Jerod? What street?

Lots of anti-moon sentiment in this area…

Oh, yeah.

People do a lot of drugs, and then print money, and then go to the Moon, and blow it up, then live on Mars and eat their turkey eggs, obviously…

It’s a plan.

I mean, the Moon might be the one place that’s more barren than Nebraska, so…

Ouch, dude. Come on. We’ve got fertile cropland here. It’s called the fertile plain for a reason, Thomas. Come on.

Fertile, yeah. They can grow whatever the hell they want. Taylor’s the one who’s starving in like Palm Springs. Geez.

More drugs. Drugs legal.

I don’t know if it would make that mistake. Why would it not be correct English? I don’t understand why the autocomplete [unintelligible 01:00:54.27]

That’s fine English. It’s just American English.

And it’s also a Nebraska thing.

It’s Nebraska American English…

I like the “Why don’t we see dead people?” But the obvious answer is they’re terrible on dates. But I think I’m going for print more money. I think most people would just be like… If you understand economics and the tools that they have at that level, you do talk about printing money… But also, if you’re an absolute idiot - and I’m not saying you’ve got a lot of idiots in Nebraska. I don’t know. But imagine there’s an idiot walking down the street, who just thinks money’s just printed, and they’ve got like a printer… Why don’t they just do more of it, and then everyone’s got more money?

Well, [unintelligible 01:01:38.01] that one.

That’s my submission.

Alright. Print more money. Good one. Good one. We’ll go with that one. My particular answer to that is aren’t they already doing that? Aren’t we printing more money? It seems like we are printing more money.

You can’t be reply guys to Google autocomplete.

I’m replying to your thought process. Go ahead, Taylor.

Dude, there’s only so much paper. That’s the problem. They’re hitting the max in paper production.

[laughs] What we need is more trees. That’s true.

Trees. Yeah.

That’s why they’re cutting down the trees, guys.

Yeah. I mean, that’s why the Save the Rainforest people - we have to ignore them, because we have to cut down more trees if we want to print money.

That’s why they have so much money.

Yeah, we’ve resorted to selling our printers that print the money. We actually make more money that way now.

Alright, let’s find out our results here… Print more money - we’ll start right there, because that’s where everybody wants to be. Adam and Mat, print more money. Why don’t we? Well, Thomas, why don’t we print more money? You were wondering that when you wrote that, weren’t you? That’s Thomas’s.

Yup.

Two points to Thomas. Thomas said “Why don’t we live on Mars?” He wants to know. The people demand an answer. And that was Mat’s question as well. So one point for Mat.

Trade you. Touché.

Meanwhile, nobody picked “Destroy the Moon once and for all”, much to Taylor’s chagrin. And nobody picked “see dead people”, much to Adam’s chagrin. Nobody picked “Why don’t we drugs legal”, because Carol typed it wrong, or something…

I feel like people can’t type right on Google. Okay?

Oh, was that on purpose?

I was just speaking to the people.

Okay.

Come on.

I wasn’t sure if that was a typo or not. I was going to help you correct it.

That was very good.

But that leaves us with the one real question that demands an answer… “Why don’t we eat turkey eggs?”

Is the answer because of Mat or Adam’s strange conspiracy theory about turkey fertility?

I don’t know. Adam, did you look it up while you were sitting there?

Postmenopausal…

I just hypothesized that they fertilize less. But it turns out they just lay less.

Lay less eggs.

Yeah. So I was thinking – I used menopause; I couldn’t think of the word fertilization. I’m sorry, everybody.

Is that why we don’t eat hummingbird eggs?

[laughs] I think it’d be more like caviar, wouldn’t it? I mean, they’re tiny.

Yeah, but what if they lay like a ton of them? This could be an untapped natural resource.

Well, they’re a lot harder to catch than chickens…

You just have a fist of them after the gym.

I guess turkey eggs are kind of expensive. It’s like $3 an egg.

How much are hummingbird eggs?

I don’t know. Why don’t you look it up?

Why don’t you google it?

Dude.

Yeah.

It’s probably like rice, where you just get it by the –

By the pound, yeah.

So Carol gets it right. Two points for Carol.

Nice!

[01:04:13.27] And Taylor gets it right. Two points for Taylor. Now, there were a few other contenders that I thought it would be fun to read… Not number one, of course. Number one was “Why don’t we eat turkey eggs?” Number two, “Why don’t we go back to the Moon?” So opposite of destroying it… [laughter] Number three, “Why don’t we fly over Antarctica?” Good question. Number four, “Why don’t we eat roosters?” Maybe this is Nebraska.

You’re never going to get asked that in the UK. We’ve never even heard of a rooster.

Number five, “Why don’t we talk about Bruno?” Good question. “Why don’t we talk about Bruno?”

That’s probably universal…

Number six, “Why don’t we eat carnivores?”

[unintelligible 01:04:50.16]

It’s not even true. It’s not even true.

Yeah. But no one’s going to search in the UK “Why don’t we eat turkey eggs?” No one would say so, I promise.

Because you guys don’t have turkeys?

Yeah, we don’t really eat much turkey.

Right.

Only at Christmas.

I’ve heard that there’s a difference of eggs in the UK versus the US, and you can just eat raw eggs in the UK, and you can’t in the US… I’m not sure. I heard that.

Is that true, Mat?

You don’t eat raw eggs?

Oh, salmonella… We’ve been told they have salmonella poisoning. Do you guys have that over there, too?

It’s suspicious. We’ve been told about the salmonella, but…

But I’ve seen Rocky, and he drinks a bunch of eggs and he’s fine.

Yeah, people do it in the gym. I don’t know if it’s hummingbird… Do they just do that? Drink hummingbird juice…

I think hummingbird eggs are too small, Taylor. There’s not enough in there.

There’s a sparrow that has really soft feathers on its chin, and there was some old emperor somewhere had a whole bed made from the softest possible sparrow chin feathers. And I really want one of them now, since I learned about it.

Believe it or not, we’re only through four rounds…

I want to own a very cold sparrow.

A cold sparrow…

Carol’s in striking distance. I’m not even engaging in that conversation. We are only through four rounds and we’re talking about hummingbird eggs and cold sparrows… We should move on to round five. After four rounds, Carol, almost in striking distance of a win here with 10 points. Mat in second with nine, Adam in third with five, Thomas fourth with four, and Taylor with three. Now, you guys have been using the spread quite well. And I have zero points, because every round you have landed - somebody at least - on the answer.

Break: [01:06:38.06]

Round five is one of our newer style rounds. This is called Namespace Conflict. In this round I have gone out to the hub of gits and I have found a repository. I will tell you the name of that GitHub repository, and you will write the tagline/description. You know, whatever people would put in that tagline field on GitHub to describe their repository. And we’ll see who can trick everybody into thinking theirs is the real repo tagline. Sound good?

Sounds very good, actually. I would say out of all the rounds, this one sounds the best.

Thank you. I worked very hard on these for your pleasure. The repo that you will describe or tag is called Firecrawl.

Firecrawl. F-I-R-E-C-R-A-W-L, all one word, Firecrawl. Please write a tagline and submit it to me now.

Did you read about Firecrawl repo when you were a kid, Carol?

It was actually in this children’s book… [laughs]