Gophers Say! GopherCon EU Edition

Hello! Welcome to Go Time, a very special edition, live from GopherCon EU 2022 in Berlin. Say hello, everyone! [applause] Okay, so the purpose of the game is – what we’ve done is we’ve asked a hundred gophers lots of questions, and the two teams here have to guess the top answers that were given. So any answer that received five or more responses will appear on the board, and you get that many points as how many people answered. So some of them will be worth a lot more, the more popular ones.

[04:11] We’re gonna take turns, we’ll do a face-off to start with, and this is where a team captain from each team will have a guess, and the one that gets the best answer takes control of the board. We will then round robin through the team, and they’ll have the opportunity to guess the answers. But be warned… You only have three lives. If you lose the three lives as a team, the other team gets the chance to steal. Stealing is essentially you just have to get one correct answer, and that’s it, you can take all of the points. So stealing is key to the success in this game.

Now, throughout the game there’s no conferring, unless you’re working as a team to steal. So it’s important that you answer independently. We haven’t got time to meet the team, but… You know, just look at them.

Okay, so who’s gonna be the team captain for Team Zero?

Who wants to be our captain?

Natalie, okay. And for Team One?

Hello!

Okay. Okay, so Natalie, we’ll start with you. I want you to have a guess. The first question is “Where is the first place you turn for Go knowledge?”

The internet.

“The internet”, okay. You say “the internet.” Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, it’s on the board, top spot. Okay, so V, I’m afraid you don’t even get a chance to guess; they’ve taken the board, you can’t beat them.

I was gonna say it’s your DMs…

Well, hang on there, because you might give these ideas… [laughter]

Oops!

Okay, Robert, it’s your turn. Have a guess. See if you can get one of these. You’ve got 25 points already.

Where is the first place you turn to for Go knowledge…? Package.go.dev?

Okay, the Go Docs maybe. Gophers Say… [win alert] Yeah, we have. Oh, Go.dev specifically. Well done, Robert, and that’s the second answer. Okay, Ronna.

My guess is going to be Ardan Labs… I’ll be specific.

Ardan Labs. Gophers say… [fail alert] I’m afraid not now, although it is an excellent resource. Okay, one life down. Natalie, your turn. As quick as you like, Natalie…

Reddit.

I just should say, Go.dev specifically was the answer, not the general one that I gave you. It’s not a clue but what’s your answer?

Reddit.

Reddit! Gophers say… [fail alert] No, a car crash of an answer.

False.

Robert, that’s two lives down now…

Um, Gophers Slack?

Gophers Slack. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, and that’s three lives down. That means you now have a chance to steal, team one. You can confer…

So we need to confer… We’re conferring now, excuse me.

[08:13] Confer then. Don’t tell me you’re conferring. Confer. [laughter] Put the microphone up to your conferring, please. Confer into the mic, please.

Oh, okay, sorry. We’re conferring into the mic now… [laughter]

Don’t tell them you’re conferring into the microphone. Just confer into it! [laughter]

I told him to confer into the mic…

Confirmed. [laughter]

Okay, so we’re between Twitter, Stack Overflow, and Mat’s DMs… Let’s go with Twitter.

Okay, you say Twitter. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, I’m afraid not. That means Team Zero takes all of those lovely points. 46 points you get there.

What was the answer?

Well, I can just tell you four people said Stack Overflow. I did get a mention from one person, but Bill Kennedy, actually - two people said that they get their answers from Bill Kennedy himself.

I said Ardan Labs.

You did.

I said Ardan Labs…

Yeah, that’s true. Oh yeah, not enough people said it to make it to the board. Yeah, let’s have a look… So let’s see what was in answer number four then. It was… Go Time! Oh, this is not rigged. And at number three… The docs. Okay, fair enough. Okay, great. That was round one. A round of applause as we go into round two. [applause]

So now we need two different captains. Robert and Tamir, you’re gonna be captains for this round. The question is we asked people to describe the Go language with just one word. What word did they say? Tamir.

I guess I’ll go with “simple”.

Simple. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, it’s on the board, and it’s the top answer. You’ve stolen straight away. Okay, so do you wanna go that way around? V.

Cute.

Cute… Okay. This is a brave one. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, it turns out gophers aren’t quite –

Y’all are wrong. [laughter]

Okay… Conrad.

Let’s see… There are many words I would like to say, but I think at least “fast”.

Fast… Ooooh…! I don’t know why I’m doing it like a ghost. Let’s see… Fast. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes! It’s at number five there. Five delicious points. Tamir, back to you.

I guess I’ll go with “fun”.

Fun! Okay, let’s see. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, it’s on there, and it’s in position three. So we’re still looking for two and four. We have simple at the top there, with 28 points, fun is in third place with nine points, fast is in fifth place, with five points. Konrad, what are the other ones, do you reckon? Oh, sorry, it’s V’s turn.

I thought I was dead.

Sorry.

I thought I was dead.

Yeah, keep going, you’re not dead.

Okay! Um… Elegant.

Sorry?

Elegant.

Elegant. Gophers say… [fail alert] No…

What’s wrong with y’all? [laughter]

Konrad. Okay, so you’ve lost two lives now, both V… [laughter] Konrad.

I can think of a negative word, but this is GopherCon, so I will go with “complete”.

[12:03] Complete. Very interesting. Gophers say… [fail alert] No. And that means Team Zero has a chance to steal. That’s three lives down… 42 points on the board here. You’ll have to confer…

Confer into the mic… Confer into the mic… [laughter]

Safe?

Safe is good… Yeah.

Yeah, tell us what you’re thinking.

Efficient, I would say… Readable…

Efficient… We already have fast.

Into the mic, please. It’s a podcast, remember…

I’d say safe. Do we wanna go with safe? Or efficient?

Okay, what do you think then? I’m gonna have to press you for an answer.

So Windows is updating on this screen… [laughter]

So let’s go with useful?

Yeah. Or…

Useful, or safe, or…?

Useful or safe.

Okay, as team captain for the moment, I’m gonna go with “useful”.

Useful. That’s a great answer. Let’s see if it’s on the board. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, I’m afraid not, but that means team one take those points. And now we have - let’s have a look at the score boards… Yes, a round of applause for Team One. [applause] Team Zero have 46 points, Team One has 42.

We’re still good…

Okay, let’s see what was at number four in this one. “Awesome”. Seven people said that. It would have got you seven delicious points. And at number two… “Opinionated”.

Oh, wow… [laughs]

Twelve points. A round of applause as we go into round three! [applause]

Okay, this is a very interesting question, I would say, and yet, we’ve got lots of answers. The question was “Name an animal that reminds you of a gopher.” Name an animal that reminds you of a gopher. So Ronna and Konrad are gonna be facing off now on these, to try and get this. Ronna, you go first…

I am going to go for guinea pig.

Guinea pig, okay. Gophers say… [fail alert] No one said that, I’m afraid. Konrad. Konrad’s playing this game very seriously… [laughter]

It hurts me a little bit to say this, but the animal that reminds me of a gopher is… A gopher. [laughter]

A gopher. Sounds crazy. Let’s see. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, and it’s the top answer. [applause] Excellent. Tamir, your team now controls the board…

[16:19] So an animal that reminds me of a gopher – that reminds you of a gopher; so not me. You. [laughter] I’ll go with a bear…

You’re gonna go with a bill. A bear, okay. I’m sorry –

Don’t kill me on my accent.

Sorry. No, no, no. I thought you were insulting Bill Kennedy. [laughter] Okay, a bear. Let’s see. Gophers say… [fail alert] No one said bear. Okay. Never mind… V.

Okay, I’m gonna take a –

V, would you like to have a guess?

Okay, I’m gonna take a conservative stance this time… Let’s go with hamster.

Ooh, a hamster. Okay, let’s have a look. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, it’s on there. Position three, eight points there for hamster. [applause] Well done.

Okay, you still have two lives left. Konrad, it’s your turn again to have a guess. See if you can clean up these board, or get one of them.

Oh, here comes an unpopular one… How about a rat?

A rat, okay… This didn’t go to Java programmers, this survey. Okay, let’s see. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, I’m afraid it’s not on there. You still have a life though… And Tamir, it’s your turn. I can tell you that rat did get four responses. Four people said that.

So close. So very close.

So very close.

I’m trying to think of animal names in English. It’s tricky sometimes.

Yes, bonus points for people that are doing this where English isn’t their first language. [laughter] Tamir, what do you reckon?

Okay, I’ll go with something… Let’s go with a mouse.

A mouse. How adorable. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, not adorable enough. And that’s your three lives, so that means you’ve got a chance to steal these 23 points here. You just have to get one of them correct.

Let’s confer! Let’s confer!

I’m just throwing this out… This is gonna be part of my Canadian bias here… How about a beaver? Same cute, little teeth.

Or mole? Sometimes when I’m googling for gopher pictures I see how to get rid of moles and gophers… It’s very sad.

Like not too many big claws.

Get rid of moles and gophers.

And very beady eyes. No big eyes.

Okay, what do we think? Name an animal that reminds you of a gopher.

Between those two, I think both make very good points.

Thank you.

Both make good points. Very diplomatic here… Diplomatic, if slow…

I’ll take note… So what do you say to a beaver? I do actually think a beaver is a good choice.

Okay. Are we gonna lock it in? We’re locking in beaver. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, you steal the points, and it’s the second position, with 13 points. That gives you 36 points that you get to steal. Let’s see what else was on this board… At number five there was a marmot. Vegemite, if you’re in Australia, I think it is… And at number four was groundhog.

I have a question…

Go on, V. Sorry, everyone. Stop. V’s got a question.

Did anyone say capibara?

Did anyone say what?

Capibara.

[20:11] No, they didn’t. We had rat, prairie dog, squirrel, Noodles the cat from Reddit, and one person said Mat Ryer. [laughter] So… That’s not great for me. Round of applause as we go into the next round. [applause] Yes. Now, this is Go Time, and we’ve got a very special round. This is the unpopular round. So now we’re looking for the least popular answers. So you get more points the least popular answers there are. And there’s no face-off, we’re just gonna go around, starting with Natalie. Which day of the week do you get the most coding done? Which day of the week do you get the most coding done? Natalie.

Monday.

Monday… Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, it’s on the board, in place three. 16 people said it, so for some reason, you get 15 points. [laughter] Okay, Team One. Tamir. What day do you get the most coding done? What do you think our gophers said?

Let’s see… Let’s go with Friday.

Friday is a classic… Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, it was on there. Well done. Nine people said it, so you get 25 points here; because this is less popular, you actually get more points. It’s unpopular round. Okay, Robert… What do we think?

Sunday…

Can you say that again in a more sinister way, please?

[coughs] Muhahaha… Sunday…!

Oh, there we go, look at that… [applause] Okay, gophers say… [fail alert] No, you managed to find one that’s not on there. Okay. V.

I’m gonna go with humpday, so Wednesday…

Humpday… Wednesday… Gophers say…? [win alert] Yes, it’s not a surprise it’s on there. Quite popular, so it means you just get ten points. But still good. Okay, Ronna, what do you reckon?

It’s a very difficult decision to make, but I am a decision-maker… [laughter] I wasn’t going for laughs, but alright… I’m very upset with all of you. I’m going to go with Thursday.

Thursday, oh yeah. I remember that one. Gophers say… [win alert] Sure thing, it’s there in number four position, which gets you 20 points. Pretty good. So now we know the other remaining days, I think… I hope. We just have to now see if you can get this one. So Tamir, what do you think?

So we’ve had Sunday, and Monday, so I guess we’ll go for Tuesday.

Tuesday. Let’s see. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, but it was very popular.

Nooo…!

So that’s the most popular day, a Tuesday. It kind of makes sense, maybe. Monday - no? You think that they’re wrong? Yeah. Okay. Tamir thinks you’re wrong, everyone.

Hard question. I think you’ve got this.

Days of the week go differently in Israel, so you know…

We’ll need to confer… [laughter]

Natalie, if you can’t remember which days have been… I mean, seriously, just go for Monday again. Let’s see what happens. [laughter]

I’ll take Saturday.

Oh, Saturday. Let’s see. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, I’m afraid not.

[24:11] Wait, so it’s not Sunday and not Saturday?

Hang on, let’s check your lives here… Yeah, but bear in mind, we asked this question, and they gave as answers – we didn’t give them an enum, we don’t have them in Go. [laughter] This is string field.

Whose turn is it?

It’s V Körbes’ go. Come on, V, you’ve got this.

Every day.

Every day… Gophers say…? [win alert] Yes! They’ve literally said it, every day. [applause] And that was the least popular answer, which gets you 30 points. Let’s check out the scores… Look at this - Team One has 112 points, but Team Zero, edging into the lead there, 117 points. A round of applause for them, please. [applause]

Okay… Now the final round coming up, and this is – you’re gonna be excited. You’re gonna be very excited… I hope. Or let me put it another way - please, just act surprised and excited… Okay. We’ll cut this out of the edit of the podcast, but… Okay, we’re coming up to our final round, and you’re not gonna believe it - it’s double points! [applause]

Wow!!

Yes, so basically, whatever the points were, you times it by two. Okay, the question - “Describe GopherCon EU with just one word.” So which one word would people say? Let’s do the face-off to see who’s gonna control the board. Natalie and V. V and Natalie, let’s go, face to face. Interface to face. Go pun. V, your turn first. What do you think? What one word would people use to describe GopherCon EU?

I’m on the fence between “feature-complete”, “generic”… [laughter] I’ll go with fun.

Fun. Let’s see. Gophers say… [win alert] Lovely. It’s on there, in place two. 17 people said it, so if you put that through the algorithm, it comes out 34. It’s not an algorithm, is it? You just times it by two. Okay… So Natalie, you still have a chance to take control of the board if you can get this top answer. Describe GopherCon EU with just one word.

I’m struggling not to toot my own horn here… But I will. Awesome.

Awesome. Let’s see if they said that. Gophers say… [win alert] Yes, they did, and it’s the top answer.

Yay! [applause]

That means Team Zero takes control of the board and has the opportunity now to guess these other remaining two options. We’ve got “awesome”, we’ve got “fun”. Robert, describe GopherCon EU with just one word. What did our gophers say?

In-person? [laughter]

Is in-person one word? It’s got hyphen in it?

Maybe…

Or upper-case? Camel-case.

Robert, are you saying in-person with a dash, or without?

I’m gonna say those were consolidated into a single response…

Wow… Impressive.

Okay. Is that your answer, in-person? Okay, gophers say… [fail alert] No, I’m afraid they did not say that. That’s okay though, you’ve still got two lives left… Ronna, what do you think? What one word did people use?

Well, to me, GopherCon Europe is Natalie, but I am going to go with “amazing”.

[28:00] Amazing. That’s a great answer. Let’s see. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, they didn’t say amazing. But don’t worry, you still have another life. Natalie, don’t lose the life, essentially.

Educational.

Ooh… Is that your answer?

Yes. Can we confer? No. Then this is my answer.

Okay. Gophers say… [fail alert] No, they didn’t say educational. I actually don’t think anyone said that, which is an insult to all of us. Although, to be fair to them, this is happening right now, so they’re on to something there… The other team now get a chance to steal… So you can confer into the microphone.

Okay, confer into the mic. Confirm this.

Nothing. Just says nothing.

Give us a suggestion, dude.

English as a second language…

I don’t think they said that.

No, they did not. I think Berlin.

That’s a word… What do you think?

I’m thinking about social…

Social? Social… What if we go with “party”?

Party?

We can… [laughter]

This has been sent around when? One, two days ago? People are not partying yet.

This was sent on Monday.

So tomorrow doesn’t work either.

Okay, I have a very low-hanging fruit kind of suggestion… What about the word “cool”? It’s not very creative, but we get points…

So by raise of hands, who said “cool”? [laughter]

Tamir just asked for a raise of hands…

I saw at least one hand here, so let’s go with “cool”.

Okay, this is to steal the board and take these 72 points… And this is essentially for the game… Is “cool” on the board? What did gophers say? [win alert] Yes! It is. It’s in the last position. [applause]

And some other answers there… There were some quite – well, let’s have a look. Let’s see those in number three on this one. Number three was “exciting”. It would have got you 32 points. We had some amazing answers though, but not enough of them. We also had “gopherlicious”.

Hah!

We had rolicking…

Mat, can you read the suggestions that mentioned your name?

No, they’ve not mentioned me, these… Or they do. Um, “weird”.

Weird. That checks out.

“Gosome…” Like, goawesome… It doesn’t really work. “Gotastic”, which was also in there… “Inclusive”, which is lovely… And then someone - this is lazy; they just said “gophers”.

Technically correct…

Yeah, fair enough.

I would use the word “conference”.

You would use the word “conference”, would you?

Oh, my God…

I did not answer, so I did not use this word. But I would…

Yes… Well, let’s look at the final points. Team Zero - Natalie, Robert an Ronna - you did brilliantly. You got 117 points. Very respectable, indeed. Congratulations. [applause] But slightly more respectable, Team One, you nailed it. You got 210 points. Well done, Tamir, V and Konrad. [applause] Thank you so much for joining us for this live episode of Go Time and Gophers Say. Tune in next time. Tell your friends about the podcast… If you’ve got any. I have. Why are you looking at me like that?

Thank you so much, everyone… Tamir, V, Konrad, Ronna, Robert… Please go away. Thank you so much though. A round of applause, everyone. [applause]

Thanks, everyone.

Okay. Has anybody got one of these grey gophers? You do have one. Anybody else? Two people? Three. So these are pretty rare then, I guess… And apparently, lots of people have been asking for if these are for sale,

Yeah, a lot of people have been asking whether these are for sale… Next to the pink gophers, next to the T-shirts, and next to the blue plushies… And so far we’ve been saying no… And we have come up with an idea. We really love GoBrige.

What is GoBridge?

Bill, can you tell us about GoBridge? If you feel like it… [applause] Would you like to hop on?

Thank you. What we were thinking we can do with this beautiful plushie is to make an auction. And we so happen to have a person with a British accent in the house…

Hello.

So you can run an auction house.

Yes, I can *gibberish* I can talk really fast like this. If you put that on half speed… That’s how some people listen to the podcast, by the way, on 2x speed. It’s like that. It’s like me just going on and talking about everything really fast.

Whatever he said, yes… So we would like to bid this gopher for a donation to GoBridge. So if you would like to take this plushie from this conference, and you would like to make a donation to GoBridge, please raise your hand and tell us how much would you like to donate, and Mat will be managing this auction. Please start.

Yes. So I’m gonna need to see $5 first… What currency should we use? Euros?

Yes.

Yeah, fair enough.

German Marks.

[36:05] Deutsche Mark, yeah. Okay, Euros will do. Five euros though… Do I see a bid? I do see a bid of five. Do I see 10? I see 10 down here, gentleman there with his hand up. He’s got 10. Do I see 15? I see 15 in the back. Do I see 20? 20 down here, 20 euros. Do I see 25 euros anywhere? Yes, there’s 25 euros, someone that’s actually taken the effort to find a piece of card to hold up, which is great.

Your badge can be the card, yeah.

Yeah. 25, okay. Do I see 30? Yes, we do, 30. What about 35? Yes, we’ve got it back there, the gentleman. 40. Yes, Adelina’s got 40. What about 45 euros? Oh, we’re getting into a bidding war, literally. Okay, what about 50 euros? Do I see 50 euros anywhere? I do see 50 euros over there. 55 euros… Maybe. Do I see 55? Yes, I see there, the gentleman with the pink…

This is a donation to GoBridge.

A donation to GoBridge. Okay, do I see 50? Did I do 55? I’m not very good at this… 60. 60 euros, anyone?

Donations are tax-deductible.

Okay, there we go, we’ve got 60 euros over there… 65 euros. Yup. We’ve got 65. 70? Do I see 70? Do I hear 70? I’ve got 70 over here… Do I have 75? 75. Looking for 75. Down here at the front, we have a new entry coming really high there. Not interested when it was cheap. Now he’s like “Now I want it…” 75 euro there. Do I hear 80 euros for this little grey thing. Okay. 85, anyone? Do I hear 85? 85 euros… Adelina again, yes. 85. Okay, 90. Do I hear 90, do I see 90 euros? 90 euros here. Yes? Is that you? Okay. 90. Okay. 95? Do I see 95? Yes, Adelina is in. She wants this.

What about – what’s after the 95 one? A hundred? Do I see - yes, in the back. New entry, a hundred. We’re into three digits. Okay, let’s go now 110. Do I see 110 euros? No, I’m not – oh yes, there is 110. Okay. 120 euro donation. Do I see that anywhere? Oh, Adelina, 120. 130 anyone? Otherwise we’re going for 120, unless anyone wants it for 130 euros… Okay, then going once… Going twice… Adelina gets it for 120 euros. [applause] Come on stage and collect your price.

Yes, please come on upstage and bring your card. Bring your bank card. Or cash.

And marked bills. [laughter] We are in Germany, this is the land of cash.

Yes. Give it up for Adelina! [applause]

We want the handshake, we want the handshake. [laughter] Thank you, Adelina, this is awesome. This is a great donation to GoBridge, and on behalf of everybody who got to be supported by GoBridge, thank you very much.

Goodbye!